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Would they take him somewhere else?

I have kinship (family) foster adopted one child and am in the process with his baby brother. I have a very good relationship with their first Mom. Weworked in out with the court for her to visit with the boys every week.

 It is time for her to sign the relinguishment papers and someone has scared her into thinking the state could move him out of our home if they get a wild hair to. I know technically they could, but what is the likelihood they'd move him from a all ready state approved home with his brother?

I feel it is unethical to tell her to sign or not to sign...I think she wants me to.  But I told her I would ask you ladies what you think....Information and opinions of those who have been there done that is ok,...I still won't tell her what to do. She needs to make that decision.

(a note: She's wanted this child with his brother from the moment she found out she was pregnant.  She even gave him out last name. She cannot parent due to her status with her other children. We have relationships with her and all 4 children)


Answer Question

Asked by adopteekjt at 8:37 PM on Mar. 17, 2012 in Adoption

Level 18 (5,995 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • She could talk with CPS and get a feel for the likelyhood of him being moved.
    What are her options if she does not sign the papers?

    Answer by Dardenella at 8:42 PM on Mar. 17, 2012

  • The state will take her rights like the other kids. I feel like that is what prefer, I just don't know why.

    Comment by adopteekjt (original poster) at 8:49 PM on Mar. 17, 2012

  • Whether or not she signs the papers really has very little to do with the state moving him. A child is only moved if the foster family says they can't care for the child anymore or there is neglect or abuse going on. When the courts terminated my son and his ex wifes parental rights to my grandkids who had been living with us 3 yrs at the time) the state tried to tell us we MUST adopt or they could put them up for adoption as wards of the state. We had full guardianship. Our attorney told us someone is 'full of crapola". He said there is no way without proof of abuse or neglect they are going to move 2 kids, brother and sister out of their grandparents home. The state can't house all the kids they have now. They aren't going to make it worse. Personally, I think the risk is barely on the outskirts at best.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 8:50 PM on Mar. 17, 2012

  • OP..I can tell you what the attorney told my son about voluntarily surrendering right VS terminated rights. " If your rights are voluntarily surrendered by you it looks better for you down the road. It appears that you had the best interest of the child in mind. Terminated rights means they were forcefully stripped from you" My son did choose to volunteer to surrender before the termination court date.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 8:53 PM on Mar. 17, 2012

  • ...and we did adopt the kids btw..

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 10:00 PM on Mar. 17, 2012

  • The state would not move him out of your home unless another relative was able to provide information your home is not a good fit while challenging custody. Given you already parent a sibling it would be difficult. I would encourage her to give us custody if rights were to be terminated anyways. This is just how I see it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:04 PM on Mar. 18, 2012

  • You are a KINSHIP home (so no CPS is involved and in your case, never has been, correct?), you are not a typical foster family, you are the guardians of the child and you've been raising him since birth. I can see no reason for CPS to become involved since your are an appropriate placement. To remove him, I'm thinking that they would have to prove that you are unfit or he was being abused or neglected.

    Can I ask a question? When she signs the papers relinquishing her rights, will this be in conjunction with your Petition to Adopt Papers (showing your intent to adopt him)? Is one attorney handling the adoption or two? What does your attorney say? What does her attorney say? This is all in your family and WITHOUT any CPS involvement, right? Am I remembering that right?

    BTW, what happened with bio dad? Did they put the ads in the paper? Have HIS rights been terminated?

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 2:27 PM on Mar. 19, 2012

  • This has all been through social services and they gave Mom, Us and the child each an attorney. The courts and attorney all seem in a hurry to get the adoption done. (I am not goin anywhere) :o). This last social worker scared Mom with that info and I am not sure why. Oh and you are correct, we've never had any dealings with CPS. Ty for your comments, that's helps.

    BTW good is one year of sobriety for Mom. We are very proud of her!

    Comment by adopteekjt (original poster) at 4:40 PM on Mar. 19, 2012

  • Quoting OP: BTW good is one year of sobriety for Mom. We are very proud of her!

    Congrats to her! Wish I could "vote this up"! With the new format, the "OP'S" comments aren't uppable or downable, LOL! (Look, new words, LOL!)

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 2:17 PM on Mar. 20, 2012

  • BUMP!

    Answer by loveandrain94 at 1:21 AM on Apr. 12, 2012

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