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Single mom, work full time... and go to school?!

Im a single mommy of three and my fourth is on the way, unfortunately I ended up having to leave my home and everything behind and take my kids and myself to A battered womans shelter due to domestic violence in my relationship. I'm currently on bed rest due to a subchorionic hemorrhage otherwise id be at work. I work full time for a bank but its not the wage id like and im not too sure the advancements id be able to have with this bank as its a smaller bank. I currently live in a trainsitional shelter and that is over in November and ill have to figure out how to get on my own feet. Id like to go back to school i had gone to school for diagnostic medical sonography and only had physics and an externship left, I had to stop going when the abuse got so bad. Now they want a lot more money and ive also forgotten a lot of the information. Id like to go back for nursing or start over in a dms program but I just dont know how I can do this. With the Job i have now im barely making it & the father of my kids would rather have all of his rights taken away than pay for his kids. Im really trying my best but im feeling hopeless. Are there any mom who have been in my situation and what did you do? Has anyone worked full time and been in a medical school? I really want to be self sufficient and take care of my kids.. im running out of time and am still on bed rest =[ Any ideas?

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:10 PM on Mar. 17, 2012 in Money & Work

Answers (10)
  • If you haven't already apply for the FAFSA online. It's the federal student aid application for school. You WILL qualify being a single mom of 3, soon to be 4 kiddos (congrats! :) ). I'm not sure where your going to school, but try at the local community college. Chances are a lot of credits that you've taken will transfer to that school and if not seeing a councelor will help you figure out all of what you need. Sometimes you can fax/email your unofficial transcript and they can do the digging alone as to what classes you'll need to take and what credits transfer and so on.
    It will be hard, you will miss out on things with your kids and so on, but it will be worth it in the end to go back to school and get an education. Could you possibly take some night classes and hire a babysitter (look at state aid for helping you pay for one while at school/work). There are tons of resources out there, but I would start with state aid!

    Answer by CaliBlondeGirl at 9:19 PM on Mar. 17, 2012

  • I would get enrolled in school, take out some student loans and rent a house. Then I would go to my local department of human services and get some help... food stamps and such. Use the student loans to pay your rent for the entire semester, and any other bills you have.

    Welfare is for people in your situation. You just need some help until you get back on your feet. Take the help.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 9:22 PM on Mar. 17, 2012

  • Housing, food stamps, medical coverage.......use those resources to help get you back on your feet. Apply for housing now because wait lists can be long.
    Start researching ways to keep living costs down....second hand clothing for kiddos, making your meals can do this!
    If you want this bad enough you can do this! I don't know you, but I'm so proud of you that you have gotten yourself out of the abusive situation you were in! xo

    Answer by CaliBlondeGirl at 9:22 PM on Mar. 17, 2012

  • There are great scholarships available for victims of domestic violence

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:45 PM on Mar. 17, 2012

  • I admire your strength and determination to make a better life for yourself and your kids. There are other ladies who can give you good advice on what resources are available to get back on your feet. One thought - do you want to take some time off before going back to school? Sure sounds like you've got a whole lot to deal with right now... sometimes it's smarter to take small, manageable bites out of your problems. Only you know what you are capable of. But I know if it was me I'm not sure I would be able to handle working FT to rebuild a life with 3 kids and a newborn while recovering from medical issues (bed rest) and abuse AND starting school.

    Can you talk to the sonography school to make sure things are clear about when you can come back and what you need to do? Since you are so close to finishing there, I'd focus on that. Get their help and guidance through this - schools often are willing to help if you ask.

    Answer by Sebbiemama at 10:31 PM on Mar. 17, 2012

  • Unfortunately my housng ends in novemeber. Im trying to get things going so I can know what I need to do

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:35 PM on Mar. 17, 2012

  • Can you not work for a while and just live off the system? Pay your bills with your student loans for a while?

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 10:37 PM on Mar. 17, 2012

  • Im just concerned i wont have enough money to survive =/ its really expensive in so cal

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:20 AM on Mar. 18, 2012

  • Check with you local schools and your local goverment. I know in Kentucky they have houses for single moms who are going to school. The rent is based on income, day care is provided so you can go to school and work. The only condidtion is that you are a single parent who is going to school, so you will have to stay in school to keep the housing. Check around to see if there is anything like that in your area. It would at least give you housing, childcare, and the ability to go back to school. You should be able to get foodstamps, cash assistance, and medical through the state welfare office. I know it seems hard now, but you can do it! I left an abusive situation with my child, so I know how hard it is to try and get back on your feet. It took me awhile, but I did it and ended up meeting a wonderful guy.

    Answer by ryanlee7 at 12:59 PM on Mar. 31, 2012

  • Im a single mom of one, I work full time and go to school for medical dosimetry. Its reallly hard! I have a good job that offers some help with school costs, but I also filled out the FAFSA and I qualify for a generous grant. Also, I'm very lucky to have such wonderful family support though this and help with child care. My daughter's dad was abusive also, but I left him before she was born. It took me a while to regain my self confidence and self worth. I'm working very hard to secure a good future for us. I want to know that no matter what goes on with me and any guy I choose to see in the future that we will be ok. The worst part is being super tired and trying to spend time with your kids and keep up with things to do around the house, but I know its going to pay off in the end. Really in the grand scheme of life 2 or three years isnt that much. You just have to buckle down and do it right. Good luck and keep your head up

    Answer by hailstorm415 at 2:54 PM on Jun. 15, 2012

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