Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Anybody not get in long w. in laws?

how do you handle this when you have kids? Ive tried and tried gave too many chances and cnat tolerate them aymore??

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:02 PM on Jul. 19, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • I would make my husband do the calling/inviting over- they are HIS family. Also, try to remember, put your children first and grin and bear it- they will soon grow up and realize what type of people your In-laws are. You have to be the bigger person and have them involved for the children's sake. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

    Answer by maurap at 2:27 PM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • well i have the problem of letting my sd go visit his family and well it got to the point that his family was tryin to turn sd against me..anything they could think of to cause problems so it ended in a big bust and they got caught due to she was little and spilled the beans so we have not spoken in 4yrs and sad part is they live right across town...but they have always known they can come and see her but she is not to leave with them...drama

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:55 PM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • I'm sorry but if my in-laws tried to turn MY child against me, they would not longer be family to me nor to my husband, he wouldn't have that. I know it sucks taht your daugher doesn't get to see them anymore, but your immediate family comes first.

    Answer by feesharose at 3:19 PM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • I sometimes have issues with my inlaws, it's gotten better over the years. My MIL used to criticize and question everything I did with the kids when they were babies. It wasn't until she made an offhand comment ( too long to type the whole story here) and I had a fit when we got home and told my husband either you tell her to back off and keep her mouth shut or I will, and he told her, in a nice loving way of course, that she finally learned to lay off the comments and questions. We aren't close by any means, but I think she does respect my mothering skills.

    Your husband needs to tell them in no uncertain terms that disrespectful comments will not be tolerated. If he won't do it, then you need to. If that doesn't work, quit taking the kids around her until she can treat you with respect. That sounds harsh but sometimes it's the only way.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:03 PM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • I've read The Mother-in-Law Dance by Annie Chapman which helped me a lot. I also try to think about my own son when he grows up and how much I love him...

    1. Because it's your husband's family, he has to do a lot of the dirty work. If things are going well, he can step aside, ha-ha!  We have to be willing to try like Maurap said, for the kids.

    2. I think MOST of the time, Mothers-in-Law are trying to be helpful (maybe because they think we're idiots) not meaning to critizise and not realizing how badly it hurts us. They too need to learn grace, how to keep their opinions to themselves, and have good boundaries.


    Answer by TXdanielly at 7:52 PM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • Same here darling! I have my hubby talk to them now. I have tried and tried to fix things, but they ALWAYS twist my words into making it look like I'm attacking them. Let the hubs take care of it lol!

    Answer by usafwifenmommy at 4:44 PM on Jul. 20, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.