Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do you deal with a soldier coming home from Iraq?

I guess i really need some help with this. My fiance is coming home from his 1st deployment in June. I guess i need the understanding on how to handle it. I know when they are there they change alot. so what should I be prepared for?? I guess I am just scared that he isnt going to see me as the same person before left. Im open to any suggestions!! Thanks


Asked by sweetheart254 at 11:54 PM on Jan. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Patience, love, and space.

    When my husband came home it was rough for a few weeks. But you can get through it. I had to really keep my patience (not so easy at times, I have been known to just run my mouth). I started doing little things for him (bringing him coffee or a drink or snack or a back massage, shoulder massage etc) to show my love. And if he walks away, let him. Give him space and time to readjust to being home. Try not to fling a lot at him all at once. continued...

    Answer by momof3inTN at 12:03 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • I've dated a couple people in the military and yes they do change. And you can't blame them for that. They expect everything to be the same way as when they left and will probably have a hard time dealing with that it's not. He might be distant, be prepared for that. Just let him know that you still love him and always will and that will never change.

    Answer by sarapurser at 12:02 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • continued... Oh, and I don't know about your fiance, but when my husband came home I had to learn to wake him up by tapping his foot because for a while he would come up swinging. It will take time for him to readjust but with your understanding and patience it should be ok. If he wants to talk, let him. But you have no idea what he may have seen over there and he may not want you to know and accept that, do not force him to talk.

    Good luck, if you ever need to talk feel free to message me.

    Answer by momof3inTN at 12:03 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • Just be patient and understanding. If he feels the need to keep things to himself, let him open up in his own time. My DH has been home for a few years and still refuses to speak about what happened. The one time someone tried to force him to talk about it, was the scariest night of our entire relationship. Only he knows what he needs right now, and I am here to support him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:20 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • My husband returned this past June from a 15mo tour in Iraq. I think they all know that the time they have been gone things have changed and no, they probably wont like it it takes a lot of time to get used to again. Be very patient, and supportive. My husband and I are in a seperation right now because of all the things that have changed, we lost perspective on who we are as a couple. Best advice, talk when he wants to talk and take that opportunity, dont get offended if he needs his space... Make that homecoming memorable and always wake up telling him how proud you are and how much you love him, reguardless what comes out of it, you will never regret that!!! Good Luck!!!!

    Answer by armywife0506 at 1:47 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • Hey my brother is coming home in March. He was deployed in August. I guess you should be yourself. Do not ask a lot of questions about Iraq. Let him tell you if he wants to. I know my brohter hates it when i ask him about Iraq.

    Answer by aznblond9 at 9:07 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • Thanks everyone for your answers. It really does help alot!! I cant wait for him to be home!!

    Answer by sweetheart254 at 10:08 AM on Jan. 22, 2009