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What to do w/my 13 yrs. old son?

My son just turned 13. I thought that I would be able to handle the teen years. My son blames me for his father & I getting divorced. It was almost 6 years ago. Now he is having outburst, yelling at me that I am the reason his dad doesn't call or visit, telling me that I am keeping him from his dad, and threatening that I would be better off without him around anymore. Any ideas on how to handle this would be great. I've tried to talk to his father, but he works out of state 3/4 of the year. PLEASE...I am going insane. HELP.

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Asked by jr97739 at 12:46 AM on Jan. 22, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (7)
  • Sounds like your son may benefit from some counseling. Maybe you should all go as a family.

    Answer by Rebecca7708 at 12:47 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • I belong to a group called"moms of teenagers, it has helped alot.i think you need to get him into therapy.his talking about how you'd be better off sound alot like suicidal thinking hon.Does his school have a phycologist? That can help so son just started and already it is helping,he is also 13.It's hard huh? chin up mom.

    Answer by Bearsjen at 12:48 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • i would maybe try family couciling. he might not want to but you could give it a try.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:49 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • I would pray and have a good talk with him. Tell him you hear what he is saying. Tell him that he needs to respect you. then do have him spent time with his dad as much as possible. He needs him. Best wishes.

    Answer by JCRestoredme at 1:26 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • yup if he is acting and saying you'd be better off without him he is depressed he needs reassurance and understanding repaet he is loved and the world needs him he will make it throught this rough spot he probaly feels alittle rejected by hid dad and you are the easy target HANG in there at 17 me and my son just evloved into more respect and caring he does need counceling

    Answer by goatmom4 at 9:49 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • I don't know the facts about your divorce so I am not quite sure what you can tell him. You can say that adults sometimes can't get along for whatever reason and that you and your husband just couldn't live together anymore. divorce is hard on all kids and it doesn't help if one parent bashes the other or doesn't show interest in the child anymore. Can you talk to your ex about visiting his son more often? He sounds depressed and that is something you can talk over with his doctor. Counceling is another option too. Spent lots of time with him and just talk about life in general. If you feel he may hurt himself in some way then you have to protect him. Take him to a doctor asap. good luck to you both.

    Answer by halfpint6niner at 10:09 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • I am firmly convinced that the best thing a mother can do in these situations is to sit down and be gut honest with the child. If your husband was a bad dude from the beginning, tell your boy that you did a poor job of choosing a father for him. If you divorced because you gave up on the relationship, tell your son that and admit that you could have worked harder. In other words, take your part of the blame. Then tell him that you know how much he needs his dad and that you will work with him to help him get what he needs. You have to make him know that you understand his feelings of abandonment and that you are sorry. I would even go so far as to suggest that you ask your son's forgiveness for your part in creating his pain.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:03 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

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