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Between a Rock and a hard Place...

My Sons Father and I have been split up since i was 11 weeks pregnant. We were moving, i was stressed and hormonal... and i kind of regret it. We have since become really good friends and still talk daily, see each other, we spent the holidays together and we go to eachothers family functions. He has said he doesn't wat to be with anyone else, and neither do I. But i am not sure if i want to get back togehter and have things go back to the way they were...... he has quit alot of things that we fought over such as the drinking(he used to drink every night in excess and now has cut back to about once or twice a week.) and going out, but i am still so scared. Would I be Wrong to suggest couples therapy(if we were to get back together....which it looks like we may)?!? Or if i asked him to seek help with his drinking? I really love him, and he still tells me that he really loves me and wants us to work. I just need alittle advice.

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JacquiV

Asked by JacquiV at 1:53 AM on Jan. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • If you both love eachother, do what it takes to make it work. Counseling is a great idea. Before anything, I'd be sure to definantly have several conversations on what you view the future as, also as for him. Have a common goal and understanding on eachothers feelings of the past and how things wont become how they were.. I wish you both a very happy future..good luck!
    armywife0506

    Answer by armywife0506 at 2:04 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • I Would Go To Counseling AND Ask Him To Go To AA Or Something Like It.

    If He Loves You He Wont Have A Problem Doing It.
    Kari_Noelle

    Answer by Kari_Noelle at 2:04 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • I dont think you need any advice because its sounds to me like your plan is whats best, even sounds like he is grown up quite a bit also, if you think the therepy is an absolute then go for it, its not going to make anything worse
    hautemama83

    Answer by hautemama83 at 2:06 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • I don't think you need to jump the gun with AA if he's only drinking once a week. That doesn't sound like much of a problem. It's much better for children to have both parents under the same roof, so I'd say go for it. It's always a good idea to get at least 6 months of pre-marital counseling, so that sounds like a great plan.
    MicahsMom612

    Answer by MicahsMom612 at 6:49 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • Since he has a history of excessive drinking and now does it as much as twice a week, it looks as though he still has a drinking problem. You may be wise to steer clear since he seems to be an alcoholic, and that won't change. If he can get it under control by AA, then maybe. But since you know about it before a permanent committment, then some careful thought is needed. Counseling for sure, and be sure that he isn't just giving the answers that he needs to give to ring the right bells.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 7:58 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • If he is showing you hes trying, atleast give it a try, you'll regret it if you dont. About his drinking, I'm going through the same thing with my husband, he also has slowed down. You would not be wrong to suggest any type of counsling, it may do good, and it may not but hey its worth a shot. I hope for the best for you, just follow your heart hunny and it will lead you where you need to be.
    HappyWifeNmom

    Answer by HappyWifeNmom at 8:15 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • If you do things the way you have always done them, you will get the same results. The only way to make things different is to do something different. If he really wants to get back with you, he will cooperate with this process. It sounds like youre both ready. The only way I would go back is to get into counseling and deal with whats really going on.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 9:21 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

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