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I feel so loved, yet so unwanted at the same time...am I crazy??

How is it possible for my husband to make me feel like he loves me with all his heart but at the same time make me feel so unwanted. I feel liek I'm going crazy, has anyone ever felt like this before. Maybe its just a bump in our marriage, I don't know but its really weird..I mean I know he loves me, and I knkow he wants me, most of the time, other times I just feel like he would be happier with out me, am I crazy or what??!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:28 AM on Jan. 22, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • No. You are not crazy. The first thought that comes to mind is that you have probably experienced rejection in the past, maybe not even from your husband. Feelings of rejection at any level or at any age are very difficult to overcome. It can take years, and I think some people never get over it. The very best thing you can do for yourself is to choose to believe that your husband loves you and choose to reciprocate his love by concentrating on all the good things that you have as opposed to anything that you might not have. Our minds are a very powerful tool!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:17 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • I don't think you're crazy, maybe you should sit down and talk with your husband.
    Good communication is start, w/o that you won't get far....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:07 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • I think a lot of it depends on how long you've been married plus how he treats you with different people, groups compared to how he treats you with your kids and alone with you. Plus if you're a full time at home mom maybe you need more outings or a parttime job. If you're an out of home work mom maybe a part of you feel guilty being away? Relationships have to be worked on by both in agreement not just one person always. I know that's true seeing friends and relatives who get along well first as friends then lover in their married life and earlier times.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:12 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • that is a tough one! i went thru the same thing when i was married. turns out he was having an affair on me and doing drugs behind my back.....guilt made him treat me very nice.
    happyme4ever

    Answer by happyme4ever at 11:03 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • i feel that too sometimes. with me i think its my low self esteem.and just not feeling worthy, especially cause i KNOW he loves me so much. perhaps its the same for you. dont let those thoughts affect you. it will show and over time your marriage can suffer. nothing turns a guy away more than a woman he loves who doesnt know what shes worth. your not unwanted. just keep telling yourself that.
    TARA26

    Answer by TARA26 at 11:18 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • marriage can be difficult, but the best thing I can suggest is set a night a month (if you have kids) or a night a week(if you don't) and just have "together time" make a date, or stay in for a movie night with pizza, whatever, just make sure you have that time together, to talk and keep that connection alive. Some days will be harder than others, but you have to work together to keep it going.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 11:33 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • because he is a man, and probably has no clue you feel this way- tell him!! Men need *directions* very precise straightforward words on how you feel and what he could do to make you feel better. Then give him some time to absorb it... I got my first flowers and jewelry after several conversations about how important to ME it was- he didn't get how important it was to me! First flowers were this year- been together since 2000
    mtnmama111

    Answer by mtnmama111 at 11:33 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

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