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The love of my life cheats and has another baby. Am I crazy for still loving him?

In a relationship since we were 13 years 21. We have a 3 year old together but he left when I got pregnant and went off to college. I forgave him and we worked on a long distance relationship. He cheated while he was there and now has a 2 year old little girl. Our relationship was never exactly on cloud nine. We've never had one committed year. least he hasn't. And now i"m alone again, fighting cervical cancer by myself of which developed from the STD he gave me. And after all that I still want to spend the rest of my life with him. Am I crazy?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:08 PM on Jul. 19, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Leave him.

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 4:13 PM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • I don't think he feels the same about you. These issues will grow into resentment eventually. Do you want to be 30 with some other HIV and dying? I don't mean to be ultra harsh, but I would rather search for happiness sooner, rather than wasting years on someone who used me. Let him go. You have your daughter, and she is a gift, but the rest it going in a very bad direction. Leave, and move on. He's always cheated and won't change.

    Answer by Teachermom01 at 4:17 PM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • Ok, well I'm not going to say you are dumb by any means, but love is blind! Sometimes you really just have to open your eyes and realize, is this really how I want to spend the rest of my life? All because he couldn't be faithful!!! I'm sort of going through probably half of what you went through! I caught my husband talking to other females online, and talking about how he wants to be with this one or wants to have sex or a 3some with that one, and this really bothered me since I found out! Now I know he has never actually cheated on me, but talking to other females about sleeping with them feels like cheating enough! But now things are better for my husband and I, but you have to open your eyes and ask yourself do you really want to put yourself through all this over and over again every year?!

    Answer by Ms.Beth1214 at 4:22 PM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • And then again, you got HPV from him, which developed into C.C., I'm sorry that he did that to you, and if I were in your shoes, I would say forget him, I wouldn't want a man like that in my life! Getting over him having another kid when he would tell you that he loves you?! That's not love hunnie! I may only be 21, but I went through alot in past relationships!!! All starting when I was 14!!! Not fun, and you don't need a man to make you happy! So you do what you have to do for your child and let him worry about his other child! Any man that has the nerve to tell you that he loves you and then goes and cheats on you? No sweetie, you don't need that!!!! But good luck in deciding on what to do!!!!!

    P.S. If you want to talk, message me on here, and we can talk more about this all!!!

    Answer by Ms.Beth1214 at 4:22 PM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • yes you are crazy, move on find someone who will hold your hand during the cancer battle and show your little girl a real father figure. He isnt,

    Answer by SoHappy2BMom at 4:23 PM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • I think you might be stuck, possibly have a relationship addiction to him.I'm not sure that qualifies as crazy. You might want to read the book How to Fall out of Love by Dr Deborah Phillips. It's helped me get over someone I needed to get over. I also read Confusing Love with Obsession by John Moore. I'm so sorry he was irresponsible and gave you and STD which led to such a traumatic thing for you to go through alone. At least you have your cafemom sisters here for you. If you need to talk just PM me. Addie Hugs

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:30 PM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • yes, you are crazy. You can't change the core person and if he can't stay committed to you now he never will.

    Answer by allord at 4:35 PM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • from being in a very similar situation, i think you are more afraid that you wont be able to find another man than you are hopelessly in love with me girl, i have never had more men interested in me in my life than i have since i freed myself from such a depressive relationship...i feel better about myself and it shows....there are plenty of guys out there who wopuld love you and treat you right...its time to cut your losses and move on!

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 7:57 PM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • its normal to have feelings but not cool to have feelings for someone who obviously does not love you, girl move on and work on yourself, your health, your child

    Answer by camtri3 at 12:06 AM on Jul. 20, 2008

  • I had two children with "the love of my life". But after a while I was miserable and scared as hell to leave him. A year later, I did leave him. And after a little while had passed, I met a man who treated my kids like angels and treated me great too. We have two of our own children now and sometimes my older kids will call my husband dad. I have to tell them he's their step dad and not to call him dad out of respect for their biological father. Basically, there are plenty of potential mates out there. Don't be miserable because your afraid of change. Just because life is hard today, you have to know that it gets better.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:43 PM on Jul. 28, 2008

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