Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

he is dumb

i ve been with my SO for 8 years and we will have two kids together soon. but i dont know if i can stay with him anymore. my SO is so dumb i mean he is not booksmart at all it use to be ok because i love him and im smart enough for the both of us but now with the economy crashing i cant take it anymore he wont go get his GED and i feel that without it there is no way he can get a job and he wont even consider going to college or trade school. i have no idea how he thinks he can be sucessful without an education and now that we are having a second child all i can think about is going back to school to get my education. i cant stay with him unless he goes to school is this selfish of me?

Answer Question

Asked by symle456 at 9:52 AM on Jan. 22, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 11 (541 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • No I don't think you are the selfish one.

    Answer by lilymama03 at 9:53 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • Really?? You're calling your SO dumb? I think he would be better off without you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:53 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • is he worried he won't be able to do it? Could you maybe say something like, honey buy the g.e.d study books and I will help you study? Maybe thats what he is worried about/

    Answer by lilymama03 at 9:54 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • absolutely not. it is SELFISH of him. do what you need to do what would be best for your family?

    Answer by krazyash023 at 9:54 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • I don't think so. You want a partner in life that can help support you. There are jobs out there that you don't need an education.....but you have to be really really really lucky and have them fall in your lap. If I were in your shoes (and I was) I would be concerned with the lack of desire to better himself to help support the family. Should you leave him? I don't know. If you love him, then you should really try to work through this and help him get the drive and determination to better his life and yours. Good luck.

    Answer by Lacey1012 at 9:54 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • You can't push someone to do something they refuss to do.Now that you are pregant you are more aware now that you really do more then he does,because now you will have two more responsiblities.Then he is willing to have.I would try to go to therapy with him.Try putting it this way to get him to go to therapy with you " All the stress I am experincing from this relationship will cause us to lose our babies."That may make him go.My husband also isn't the smartest book on the shelf,but he did finish high school.He claims he slept through school.I believe that is one factor of his intelligence.The other reason is his parents never really made him do things for himself.Thus,he didn't learn how to think on his feet.

    Answer by Jeffsmom87 at 9:59 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • Im in the same sort of situation except my dh did graduate high school. I accept him for who he is and he doesnt like to study much. I have told him theres no sense in working hard when we can work smart. Fortunately I can take him as he is because I came into this with my own money and inheritance. But I still chose to further my education. Its hard sometimes talking to him and having to explain things to him I have learned like I would to my teenagers but hes a good man, he loves the kids, loves me, and does the best he can. I wouldnt leave him because he is who he is.

    Answer by gemgem at 9:59 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • If he won't go get his GED (which is really really easy to get) ask him to go to a trade or vocational school

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:01 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • It's not selfish of you. Why would you breed with a guy that has no education and no drive to better himself? You go on and get all the training and education you can, he'll never be able to support even himself adequately with that mentality. Good luck!!

    Answer by shmorris56 at 2:26 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • Never make life altering decisions while *high* on pregnancy hormones...

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:32 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.