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My daughter's private school thinks she should repeat kindergarten because she is not socially or emotionally ready for 1st grade. Is this a good reason?

My daughter is 5 and she will be 6 in May. She is behind because she had hearing and vision problems. Now that these issues are corrected... she is having trouble fitting in with kids her age. Usually at school she just plays with adults. I take her to places with kids to play with all the time. She has older siblings, is active at church, goes to dance classes, and goes to the YMCA with me. She doesn't know how to interact on her own and kids end up thinking she is strange. Sometimes she prefers playing with toddlers because they don't judge. This is breaking my heart.

 
Kara513

Asked by Kara513 at 10:29 AM on Jan. 22, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (10)
  • Yep thats a good reason to hold them back. My son had similar issues in 1st grade. We held him back. He was better for it. Some kids just develop differently and mile stones society sets doesnt always fit the children. It doesnt make her weird, different or reflect on you as a mother. It just means your child doesnt fit the mold society has for all kids. No big deal. She will catch up and shes young enough where it shoudnt affect her badly.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 10:33 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • Well in kindergarten they don't just play. How are her other skills? Yes I think that may be a good reason to keep her back. It won't hurt if you do but may hurt her more if you have her go into the 1st.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:32 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • Personally I think it could be a good thing. I have a good friend who has a daughter that was a preemie and she had hearing and vision issues, as well as emotional and social issues, and they held her back in first grade and it turned out to be the best thing for her. She is doing well and developing slightly below her age level but she is with friends that are on her level, if that makes sense. I can imagine it has to be hard when someone suggests your child should be held back, but if the school teachers, principal and counselors feel it is best, they might be on to something. Have you had a chance to sit down and really talk about it in depth?
    KTMOM

    Answer by KTMOM at 10:34 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • I have to agree with the above.
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 10:34 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • If she is passing all her school work. (Passing Education wise), they should let her go to 1st grade. The way she interacts with her pears, shouldn't stop her from passing.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 10:35 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • If she's really not socially or emotionally ready to move on, staying back could be a big benefit to her. By being kept back, the other children in her class will be a bit less mature than she is and that could possibly help them to be less judging of her which in turn would give her a chance to gain some self confidence. There's nothing wrong with being held back, if that is what's best for your daughter, I'd do it. Best wishes to you.

    BlessedMommy64

    Answer by BlessedMommy64 at 10:38 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • Just have you and your dh go to the school and talk to the teacher, the counselor and talk to them about this, that is what they tried to do with my son he had a speech problem but it went away and so will your daughter's (what she is going through) she is still developing in her own pace. she is fine. They said my son was not meeting kindergarten expectations...that made me so mad I mean they are only 5 yrs. old. School now a days expect alot from a 5 yr. old they want them to know alot like a 1st. grader before they are even there. If you want her to repeat kindergarten that is up to you if not you better do alot of complaining do just settle for this.


    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 10:46 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • Take care...girl giving flower

    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 10:48 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • My husband was held back in Kindergarten but it was because he played too much and they didn't think he could make it in first grade like that. His mom agreed to it and he ended up being just fine! He is really smart now and almost everyone we know say he is the smartest person they have ever met. Not saying it is bc he went to Kindergarten twice, just saying that it isn't always bad. I agree with sitting down with the counselor at school and maybe asking some questions. If you really think she is ready then I would send her on but it will be a hard decision either way.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • My DD has a hearing loss also we already knew she would not be ready for kindergarten so we chose to have her go to pre-k another year and it helped so much with her social skills. She is now a 1st grader above the curve and gets along very well with her peers. In the long run I feel she will benefit from going another year teachers want your kids to do well so I'm sure they are just looking out for her best interest. Does she have an IEP plan? If not please look into that (I'm not sure how private school works) your welcome to message me with any questions or just to vent Good luck doll I hope she gets the best schooling possible to keep her advancing.
    Fordmomma

    Answer by Fordmomma at 11:14 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

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