Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do I tell him I feel neglected.

Our life is crazy, we have 3 kids, I work 2 jobs he works 1, we hardly ever see each other and we do theres not much laughing or talking going on, its always fighting over something. How do I tell him I feel neglected from him, and I feel so guilty because theres a friend of mine that does and says everything my husband doesn't do anymore....I havn't cheated, never would, but I crave this attention from this other guy, he just says the nicest things and makes me feel wonderful....I want that from my husband again though....does that just get lost after marriage or what??

 
HappyWifeNmom

Asked by HappyWifeNmom at 10:32 AM on Jan. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • With guys you have to be blunt and to the point. No wishy-washy stuff. Direct communication is key, but you have to be careful and not sound like you are accusing him of neglect. Don't make it about what he hasn't done, just state how you are feeling and recommend something you two can do together to make you feel better. Guys like to "fix" stuff, so make is sound like you are the one with the problem and ask him what he thinks you two should do to fix it. Sounds crazy, I know, but I have seen several of my friends use this tactic and it works.
    Jen528

    Answer by Jen528 at 2:46 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • You guys need a night out ...just the two of you.


    Get someone to watch the kiddies and go out and have a great time and talk about how it use to be. Tell him your feelings. It gets to a point in life where everything just starts to be a habit.


    YOU make the difference and start something for the sake of your marriage and kids. GL


    Through thick and thin, in sickness and in health, the ups and downs in the marriage. We all go through this it is up to us to make that change. Some people want a divorce when things go down...Am I right? Just keep your chin up all will work out.in love

    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 10:39 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • Oh hun, that is hard!
    Here is the best advice I have EVER recieved:

    Men like action. They don't connect feelings as well by just talking without some sort of action first. I'd say he might be feeling the same way as you are... like you are just so disconnected. Plan a romantic getaway. I mean really plan something. Start hiding little notes alluding to what you are planning. Act like you have a sexy little secret. Show him what he has been missing. Be his girlfriend. Show him and tell him how proud you are of him personally, in the bedroom, and for his work he does for the family.

    If you need more ideas or help then check out the book Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura. This book truly changed my outlook on my man, and men in general, and has basically created an affair-proof marriage. There is also a companion book, The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage.
    squish

    Answer by squish at 10:43 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • I have been known to wear a sign around my neck that says "FEELS NEGLECTED". Silly but it works. I miss the laughter so I try to use humor to get back what I need.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:59 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • i have to agree with Squish. i just went through kinda the same thing. my husband and i weren't talking, we were always busy doing our own thing, and at the end of the day we went our seprate ways to relax. i did a romantic evening with wine, his fav. movie, a sexy nighty, and it worked! we talked all night and bonded, men relate differently and respond more to intimacy and sex. at least try it. you'll be surprised.
    TARA26

    Answer by TARA26 at 11:13 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • no it doesn't, but sometimes it gets put on the back burner.. you need to take a night out for the two of you... The best thing to do.. every month, make a date for just the two of you..even if it's just a few hours for dinner and sex... you really need that time together as a couple to keep things flowing right. If you keep pushing it aside that flame is going to go out, and it's hard to rekindle it. So make up some nice plans, get a sitter, and have a nice night together. Show him how much you miss him and need him.. and let loose and have fun.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 11:22 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • Thanks everyone......I love the ideas! You girls are awsome!
    HappyWifeNmom

    Answer by HappyWifeNmom at 11:24 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • Try to squeeze in some couple time and turn off the TV! Talk, laugh, make love. You need it.
    shmorris56

    Answer by shmorris56 at 2:00 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN