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What to expect next?

My DD bio dad is not really involved. In the last year he has spent a total of 5 hours with her (mostly in 30 min increments at my house). He either sees her or askes about her on average every 1-3 months. Here is a conversation via test we had last night and now I am unsure what to think or say.
Him: Hey hows lillie doin? sorry I have not been up to see her work has been shi* I have been getting off after her bed time sicne we are merging with oriley"
My response: "I highly doubt you have not had a single min to check on her in almost a whole month. Im not stupid. I pass your work at least twice a day and have only seen you there twice in the last week. If you dont want to step up and be a dad then give up your rights to a man who, is for one, raising her and who WANTS to be her dad. You are just hurting her." (he works less than a mile from our house and my husband wants to adopt her)
Cont'd below....


Asked by LovinEveryDay at 10:40 AM on Jan. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (3 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • if you want to take him to court, and petition to have his rights disolved.. by doing this he won't be paying child support, but if you feel it is in the childs best interest, then I would just leave him out of it. If he wants to fight it, you may have problems. But in court make sure that you say, as long as he calls he can stop by and see her, but you don't want him to have rights or pay child support because hubby is raising child as his own and he deserves those rights.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 11:15 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • him: "fuck you how dare you talk to me like that I have been busting my ass at work to pay your rediculous child support that you dont need. My car has been in and out of" (he never finished that thought'
    My response: "If you dont want to pay child support thats fine, just give up your rights."
    I never heard back.
    Keep in mind the gov't has put an interception on his checks and just takes the money out before he even sees it because he refused to pay it on his own.

    Answer by LovinEveryDay at 10:43 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • It sounds like he is more concerned about the money than the child. If you keep pushing it, make sure it's what you really want because he will likely bail.
    Good luck!

    Answer by LoveIsCool at 10:48 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • Good luck having his rights disolved...Unless he agrees or has committed a crime against a child, or is just completely imcompetent and can't meet the needs of the child they will never disolve his rights...I know that may suck for you and your hubby but that is the law. Best of luck.

    Answer by mattandjosmom at 11:35 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • explain to him that he won't have to pay child support anymore if he lets her be adopted and he can get his car fixed.

    Answer by halfpint6niner at 11:39 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • where you and the daddy married at the time of birth? if not, technically he has no real rights to her far as getting his rights revoked, the only way that will happen is if you can prove that your child has been in serious danger while in his care. otherwise, there really isnt much you can do. even if he goes to jail, it would have to be for life and even then he would have to sign his rights over. my mother works for department of children and families if you have any questions just message me.

    Answer by JacquiV at 11:49 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • We were never married but he is on the birth certificate.

    Answer by LovinEveryDay at 11:53 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • Get him to sign over his parental rights. He won't have to pay child support and she won't have his inconsistency to disrupt her routine

    Answer by MicahsMom612 at 12:41 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • Quit talking to him. Don't badger him. If he talks to you just say she is fine without him. She's been fine, she is fine and she'll keep being fine whether he sees her or not. He'll either step it up or back off more. If he backs off you can file for abandonment and your hubby can adopt her.

    Answer by shmorris56 at 1:52 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • You don't need this baggage right now , especially while you are pregnant. Just talk only when necessary. Good Luck to you.

    Answer by jareda69 at 3:38 PM on Jan. 22, 2009