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What to do with Son that beats up father?

My step-son is 15 and lives with us, and has for the most part been a good kid. Lately though he doesn't like to be told what to do and has started rebelling, even to simple things. This morning he didn't want to go to school and basically refused to get ready, so dh told him he better get his butt up and go or else. Well my step-son stood up and got within a inch of his fathers face and swore at him and said "make me". He then shoved his father against the wall so hard he fell over and bumped his head on the stairs. I have never seen behavior like this and it tore me up and I started crying. Dh said he had to leave and cool off before he did something he regretted. Our son is now up in his room refusing to go to school. My husband just called and said he was on his way back home, and I am just so worried about all this. How do we handle this?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:20 AM on Jan. 22, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • call the cops. Seriously that is assault. My neighbor went through this 2 years ago with her teen daughter who smacked her up side the head with a phone. She called the cops the kid had to go to court, was put on probation, had to attend anger classes, then she was off probation and never pulled it again. It was enough to scare the crap out of her. Another neighbor of mine sent her teen son to boot camp. He was messing with drugs, skipping school, coming home all hours. Now ...Totally different kid came back. Now he has a good job and lives on his own and has his live in order. And a diploma too! If you do nothing it's going to get worse though because he will know he can get away with it.


    Answer by babyfat5 at 11:27 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • umm your husband needs to do something the son will regret. he'd be going to school. or going to jail i would call the police if it keeps up.

    Answer by jodi205 at 11:21 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • Well if i was his father i would have knocked his lights out!! but he probably did the right thing by leaving and cooling off so it didnt get outta hand!! I really dont know how to tell you how to handle the situation but it needs to get under control!! i would drag him into school by his hair and make sure he stays there!! good luck!!

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 11:23 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • The boy needs to understand he can not do that sort of thing.To anyone. Not even family. Call the police on him. He needs counseling. and when he does leave the house search his room. See what he is hiding in there. Drugs  etc.....


    Answer by louise2 at 11:26 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • An afternoon in jail will set Step son straight. Knowing that he depends on his dad to bail him out might just wake him up. Chances are he won't be booked and if he is, his record can be expunged. A little dose of this might just scare him straight. Good luck!

    Answer by companygoddess at 11:45 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • I would call a police officer to come out and escort his buttt to school. You have to do what you have to do to get him in school because it falls back onto the parents

    Answer by MeNMy2Kids at 11:56 AM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • I agree with babyfat. As a teenager, this exact thing happened to me. I smack my mother in the face with the phone. I gave her a blackeye. I will post this anonymously because I am extremely ashamed. One of my mom's friends called the cops on me. I was arrested and put on probation. I was required to go to an after school program for teenage girls with anger issues 3 times weekly. I was in counseling.

    I never hit my mother again. I feel horrible that I ever did.

    Call the police on him, or call a probation office and ask what you can do. This is inexcusable.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:10 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • It sounds like something is going on with your step son. If he has been a good kid up until now, then something is going on. I would talk to him. See what is going on. If nothing gives then I would talk to the cops and see what they say. Kids dont at that way over night. Could he be on drugs, or being bullyed at school?

    Answer by mommie020308 at 12:36 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • Your step son made a decision to lay his hands on his father and assault him. He needs to face the natural consequence of that action. To be honest, I would have called the police on him, if only to have an officer come talk to the boy and show him that you seriously will not tolerate that behavior. The police officer would also get him to school. Delinquency is against the law. I know this sounds harsh, but if he had laid his hands on a different adult, what would have been the result?

    Answer by MomShawn70 at 12:49 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • Let the son spend the night in jail for domestic abuse. If that doesn't scare some sense into him, then maybe he needs to go to a school for kids with behavior problems. They don't just let the kids do as they please. They HAVE to go to school whether they want to or not.
    Give the kid 2 choices... your way or the highway... it may sound harsh, but he obviously needs a good dose of tough love before things really do go too far.

    Answer by lighthousemom3 at 1:05 PM on Jan. 22, 2009