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Would you ever consider divorce?

I feel like everyone around me has either been divorced, is going through a divorce or is considering divorce. My husband and I have been together since I was 17 and he was 20, we are now 23 and 26. People have made comments about how we are too young, and yet we work hard to own two houses, two cars, support our two girls and each other. It seems to me that age doesn't always have anything to do with priority and responsibility.

I guess my question is: Do you really think that people do everything possible to try and make things work before considering divorce, or do they just give up without putting in honest effort?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:58 PM on Jan. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • I got married when I was 18 and Dh was 20 We met when I was 17. We are 24 and almost 27 and people are amazed that we are still together!! We work hard for eachother and our kids. I have never considered a divorce from him and we have had some fights. I honestly think people just call it quits and give up because the work is too hard. There are some that I truly believe put in an honest effort, but I think majority of people get married for the wrong reasons anyway....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:03 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • Nope, I don't think people do enough to save their marriage. I am divorced. But I fought like hell to save my marriage, problem is, he wasn't on the same page. But I think that a lot of people hit a bump in their relationship and instead of working thru it they bail because it's "easier" then figuring it out. Divorce has been glamourized and no one thinks twice about no-a-days.
    TheDiva320

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 2:09 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • I have been divorced and put in an honest effort. I tried staying for the kids. Staying for us. Staying because I just thought i should. But it got to where we hated each other, the sight of the other etc etc. I didnt think that was healthy and i left. It was best for me and my kids. But I did everything I could to try and make it work. I dont think ppl walk away lightly most of the time, but some ppl obviously might.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 2:13 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • I think that there are folks who give up and divorce without putting in all their best effort. In effect, I'd believe those were the relationships that never should have become a legal marriage to begin with. I am happily (most of the time) married- though don't deny the occasional fight that brings with it the D word, but that's just passing anger.
    ZoeKatsMom

    Answer by ZoeKatsMom at 2:14 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • It would be an option for me. In fact, a few years ago, it almost happened. We did what we had to do to save our marriage, but I would rather divorce than be absolutely miserable and potentially fight nonstop in front of the kids. If we did divorce, I really don't think I'd ever get married again.
    Silvertears1275

    Answer by Silvertears1275 at 2:58 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • Ha, no people absolutely don't try to do everything before considering divorce. Statistically speaking, when you marry so young, you're more likely to get divorced, but you're not a statistic, you're an individual.
    Good for you and your husband! Sounds like you're doing great and that you're good marriage partners. Most people are too self-centered nowadays to really put in the work that's needed for a healthy marriage
    MicahsMom612

    Answer by MicahsMom612 at 3:15 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • it's hard to say. someone may be doing all THEY can do but others may not see it as that.
    from the outside it would look like i've done nothing to try and save my marriage before giving up but really, i've on everything in my financial and emotional ability to do.
    chyna_doll

    Answer by chyna_doll at 4:04 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • in todays world, no i don't think people do enough to keep their marriage going. today, divorce is so accepted that it is not a big deal anymore. people don't take the sanctity of marriage seriously. i have been told many times by different people, that they would not have stayed with my husband with all our moves, all his health problems, the finacial difficulties we have gone through and continue to go through. even my mil has told me she would have left my dh yrs ago. now, there are those that truly do try and nothing does work. or those in a BAD situation that need out for safety reasons. those are legit reasons to me.. but just to walk away because you don't want to deal with the difficulties you are going through is just lazy.
    ArmyWifeMomof3

    Answer by ArmyWifeMomof3 at 4:11 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • We were told by both our families that we were too young to get married. All of our friends were taking bets on how long our marriage would last! It ranged from 6 months to 3 years. No one thought we would make it past 3 years! We proved them SO wrong!!! We have our 11th anniversary this summer. I am super excited. We got married when I was 20 and he was 24.

    Now they were not 10 easy years! We did say the "d" word a few times. But every time one of us said the "d" word, whoever said it apologized and then we worked through whatever the issue was to begin with. Still do but we no longer say the "d" word. However, in cases of cheating and spousal or child abuse (in any way, shape or form - sexual, physical, or emotional) divorce is necessary.
    momof3inTN

    Answer by momof3inTN at 4:18 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • Wow you guys is the same age as me and my hubby(23 and 26). we been together since I was 17 and he was 19 going on 20. We get the same thing. But we been through too much to give up on each other. we don't even let what other ppl have to say cross our minds. Their not in our marriage and I think that the biggest mistake married ppl make, they talk to others especially single ppl about their marriage when they should communicating with each other. We had married counseling before we gotten married from our pastor and the one thing we learned is that divorce is NOT a option. Thats why their so many divorces now days because ppl get married for the wrong reasons or they give up to easily. Marriage isn't for weak ppl.
    kyheavensmom

    Answer by kyheavensmom at 5:12 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

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