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Is it wrong that I keep on calling my 18 year old to remind her to go to school?

I know she is an adult an this is her life. She was to graduate last june but decided school was not for her. This fall she started to go back on her own to adult school. She is doing well and should graduate this June. She thinks just because she is 18 it's okay for her to take off for a week come home for a few days and leave again. When she "forgets" to call me to let me know she is not coming home, I call her boyfriends cellular phone to talk to my daughter. (she does not have a cellular phone) Am I being over protective?

 
mommiedear

Asked by mommiedear at 6:08 PM on Jan. 22, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 14 (1,374 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • You're hovering. Time to cut the cord and let her deal with the consequences of her actions. If you baby her forever, she'll never develop a sense of responsibility. But, if you're ok with that....and want to call to remind her to go to work, pick up her kids, pay her bills...at the age of 40...go ahead and continue calling her....
    halfpint_ny

    Answer by halfpint_ny at 6:19 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • no not at all. if anything you arent being protective enough!
    aliciatron

    Answer by aliciatron at 6:10 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • yeah a lil bit you need to chill out she not your lil one any more
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:10 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • how is she not being protective enough?
    butterscotch297

    Answer by butterscotch297 at 6:11 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • It's really up to her, if she wants to graduate it's up to her to commit to it. Just let her fail, she'll learn on her own.
    prettyrayray

    Answer by prettyrayray at 6:17 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • She needs to decide to go to school. It is not your responsibility to remind her of that. If she wants to go then she will go, it not it is her life she is ruining not yours. I think that maybe you should back off a little. She also needs to be a little more respectful of calling when she isn't coming home. I think that maybe you are setting yourself to be a doormat for her.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 6:21 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • you moms are right I do need to learn to let her be. I just feel if she is not working, still lives at home, noting is wrong with me calling to remind her to go to school and to see if she is okay.  How can I back off??

    mommiedear

    Answer by mommiedear at 6:23 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • i dont think you need to back off, i was sort of the same way as your daughter, i didnt want to go to HS my senior year but my mom MADE me and im so glad she did. she might technically be an adult but i know at 18 i wasnt mature enough to make decisions like that. if shes living under your roof and you're paying for her car/cell phone you can take those away when she goes to her boyfriends house and doesnt call. i know even at 20 my mom wouldnt let me spend the night with my boyfriend!
    aliciatron

    Answer by aliciatron at 6:29 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

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