Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Im a cheater...

I have been engaged to my fiance for 2 years now. I have a daughter with him. We are happy for the most part. But recently I cheated on him with my best male friend. My fiance and I are stuck living with his parents and 16 yr old brother, so we never EVER have alone time. I just couldnt take it anymore. I dont even feel like myself when I am around his family, which is constantly. So I resorted to going out several nights a week to be with my bestfriend, and things have happened between us that I am not proud of, but at the same time, I feel like myself when I am with him. I am happy. Can anyone relate? I really need someone to talk to about this.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:08 PM on Jan. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • So leave your s/o and go be with your best friend. I hope your best friend will be a good father figure to your kid... then again that should have been something to think about before you dropped your pants! Good Luck!
    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 9:15 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • lol legalmommy:)

    OP of course you feel better when your around your best friend. You're not picking up after him and you don't have problems with him because he is a friend. Think about this-if you do choose to be with your best friend then he just becomes your new problem. Situations like this rarely work out, but thats JMO.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:22 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • I'm sure that when you move out his parents house (granted it's with him) you will feel like yourself again.  Living with someones family can be a challenge and yes you get annoyed and you never actually feel comfortable cause it's not your family.  The question to you is do you even want to still be with your fiance?  You didn't say that you had a problem with him.  I think that your best friend was around at a time  when you felt like you had to let loose since you never had alone time with your fiance.

    kira25

    Answer by kira25 at 9:24 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • I understand where youre both coming from (op here). Im not saying I want to leave my fiance. Or would ever even consider anything too serious with my bestfriend. And as a side note, OM is great with my daughter. I did this because...I dont know what else to do. How do you continue loving someone who wont even kiss you infront of his parents? Its insane. We have to wait til they go to bed before he will cuddle up with me and be sweet. When everyone is around he acts like I am not even here. I dont know...I was hoping I could find someone who can relate. Oh well. Sorry to waste everyones time here.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:28 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • You need to tell him. My DH and I lived with his parents for a long time. While we were engaged then after our daughter was born. I never cheated. He even went away for 8 months for basic and ait and we remained faithful. What you did was wrong, as you know, and you need to be honest with him.

    Talk to him about his lack of affection. It's not right either, he needs to show you he loves and cares for you and not just behind closed doors.
    celticreverie

    Answer by celticreverie at 9:36 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • Be honest with him about wanting more affection and how you feel but don't tell him about the cheating.
    kira25

    Answer by kira25 at 9:40 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • You didn't take a vow to forsake all others yet so imo you didn't cheat. The time to find out if you want to be with someone else is now so it's not a bad thing. There are a few support groups on CM for this. Just keyword search "cheating".
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:30 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • i can relate, i've never cheated but i can relate to being lonely and i've threatened to if he didnt shape up. just tell SO how you feel, he cant change if he doesnt know theres a problem
    aliciatron

    Answer by aliciatron at 10:33 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • This cheating will always be in the back of your mind, so how can you ever have a deep relationship with your fiance, even if he never knows. He should know by the way. It's not fair to him to put himself in you where someone else has been. What about disease?? I personally feel, if someone in a relationship goes that far and does all that with someone else, it's over. But, that's me. Also, if it still works out between you 2, you should drop the guy friend. It never will work if you keep being friends with someone you have been sexual with, especially cheated with! Marriage is about sacrifice and commitment. Please pray to Jesus about this and read the bible! It is life's instruction manual!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:27 AM on Jan. 23, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN