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Am I watching the DEVIL'S KIDS??? How do I discipline the undisciplinable??? (is that a word LOL)

I have had four additional kids living with me the past three weeks because their parents (I've known the father since we were 14) are dual army. The mom had post partum depression that went undiagnosed for two years and as a consequence her last two kids are devil spawn. Her almost 3 year old who weighs in at a hefty 42 pounds and wears a 5T punched my ten month old, and has also kicked and pushed her. He also shoved my almost 2 year old son in to an air mattress and covered his head with a pillow while he sat on him... you've never seen a pregnant lady move so fast! Anyway I have had an awful time trying to discipline them, everything from treats, rewards, for being good, to time outs, and even spanking with the hand (their father told me to use a belt but I just can't do that). They don't care! What is the worst behaviour you have seen in a child and what did you do to "fix" it?

 
naomianne2

Asked by naomianne2 at 11:24 PM on Jan. 22, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 2 (7 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • Well...with all that info... my answer is you can't use discipline... sounds like the only thing that works for them is abuse...and that's not an option, but that is what they understand.

    My heart bleeds for this family... and the lives of their children... I call those kinds of kids 'sad' because they do not know of love and joy and fun and the list is endless...

    Try to follow up with this family and maybe a suggestion to the Bishop for LDS counseling...for all in order to change behavior... WOW!!!
    RustysMom

    Answer by RustysMom at 10:39 AM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • Wow, Those kids need some serious interventions. Where are there families? That seems like alot for you to handle on your own. You need to enlist some help.
    Rebecca7708

    Answer by Rebecca7708 at 11:27 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • Don't worry, they are leaving tomorrow. I was supposed to watch them until September but they were affecting my children too much and their 5 year old tried to kick me in the stomach (I am about 26 weeks pregnant right now) when I was putting him in time out. I told my friend that it was just a dangerous situation and they needed a father figure (my husband works long hours so he is not around but for about 2 hours a day while they are awake) since they didn't respect me. Plus I have my own 3.5 kids to think of and all of my kids are scared of them.
    naomianne2

    Answer by naomianne2 at 11:31 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • CALL SUPERNANNY
    mamajody0507

    Answer by mamajody0507 at 11:32 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • Consistency. Whatever you do be consistent. They will start to behave. Eventually. My son went through a phase where he was like that. One day he had 20 time outs! What I did was make him stand against the wall until he stopped crying. Sometimes I had to hold him there. Once he stood there on his own then I counted the time. After the time out he and I sat down. I asked him if he knew what he did wrong. I told him if he didn't know. Then I asked him what he should've done differently. If he didn't know then I explained it to him.
    amethystrse

    Answer by amethystrse at 11:35 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • Remember, you have to teach the children proper behavior. They aren't going to magically know it if it's not taught to them. I know it's hard, especially when pregnant, but you have to stay ontop of it. Also, be sure to always point out when they do something good. Especially if they were going to do something bad and then stopped themselves. I've said on more than one occasion, "That was very good not hitting your sister. Thank you."
    amethystrse

    Answer by amethystrse at 11:35 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • Frankly, I'm just relieved for you that they are gone. People really need to do the "work" when it comes to parenting. Kids don't raise themselves. I see it all the time at the park, preschool, restaurants. Horribly behaved kids. Makes me irritated but also sad. Just because you work doesn't mean you get a pass to let caregivers do the job.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:47 PM on Jan. 22, 2009

  • Well some people can't really do the work if they aren't there. I DO understand dual military if both are deployed. God bless you for taking those kids in with their parents being dual military, but since it is dangerous for you and your little ones its probably better to arrange something else. Is one of their parents there or did you find someone else to watch them? It's a big job I know! I've done babysitting for the past 3 years and some of the kids i have watched have some real discipline problems and have had horrible influence on my daughter but trust me they no longer behave that way in my home because they know I won't put up with it. I have done time outs, no treats, no getting to play with toys they want, etc. But anyway good luck with the situation!
    AprilDJC

    Answer by AprilDJC at 1:14 AM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • im So glad you said they're gone...if that 3 yr old kicked my child and then tried kicking me in my stomache..there's no telling what id do without thinking and then have big consequenses to pay..the only result for me would be what you are doing, getting rid of them..who's taking them?
    tnteaton

    Answer by tnteaton at 2:36 AM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • Well I told the father I was sending them to the wife's mom's house since she lives about 4 hours away. He begged me not to and apparently was able to get leave to come and get them next weekend, but for the week they are going to stay with someone else they know where the father stays home with the kids and the mom works. I think that will work better cause they listen to my husband when he is home because they haven't seen their father in about 6 months. It's just a big mess, I want to help out more but my kids have to be my priority. I have tried everything and I have years experience as a nanny and I have 3 kids of my own and taught summer camps growing up so I do have a lot of experience with kids, I have never seen children this bad. CONT >>>
    naomianne2

    Answer by naomianne2 at 9:34 AM on Jan. 23, 2009

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