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ok i have 5yr old 2yr old and 11week old and the 5 and 3 year old fight with each other

they hit. pitch kick bit grab and anyother thing that you could do to each other then a little while later they will be fine but then one dose something and it starts all over agin i have put them in time out i have taken away what ever they are fighting over but nothing seams to make this end i need advise PLEASE!

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Asked by jannie1025 at 1:00 AM on Jan. 23, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 2 (11 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • Just keep in mind that they are actually fighting over feeling loved by their dearest beloved - you ... and over feeling elbowed aside from being able to bask in the glow of being beheld by their dearest love - you. Until the age of 4 or 5, mama is as essential to a child as sunshine is to a plant. When mama smiles into his eyes and shares that special twinkling glee which young children and mothers can share, then it fills the child's heart, and feels like a deep breath of fresh air after being scared. And this is for reasons beyond emotional well-being: the developing brain NEEDS this closeness for learning about the world, it absorbs the mother's personality, learning a thousand things from each interaction with her. ... So, yes, it does require forethought, but if you can bring them close into focus - together AND individually - then you can make sure they are not starving for the emotional nourishment .. (cont'd)

    Answer by waldorfmom at 1:19 AM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • ... they need. Keep the tone light & joyful - think Mr. Rogers - brimming with delight at the gloriousness of each one of them. ... This is the mood you hold yourself in. Sound fake & artificial? ... Nobody minds playing peek-a-boo or pat-a-cake with a baby, in a sing-song sweet voice. This is the same thing. I think we drop our children into the "land of dull" way too young. For them, the world is still amazing - raindrops, dishwashing suds, the baby (whom we talk about with frequent references to how "this was what we did when YOU were this little!" ) ... The book Siblings Without Rivalry has lots of good advice. Make sure that you never get one child in trouble because of the other. YOU are the parent, they are NEVER responsible for a sibling - helping, yes, they love that; but never "didn't I TELL you to keep her out of the dogfood?!" This would cause completely justified simmering resentment.

    Answer by waldorfmom at 1:38 AM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • Boxing gloves? (kidding...sort of)

    I don't know that there's really any way to make them stop...but if they have that much energy...don't you have a kitchen floor scrub? What about toys to be picked up? A vacuum to run?

    Basically, anything "heavy" to get some energy out of them....and something not in any way fun. (these were actually suggestions from my oldest's psychologist)

    They start to fight, they go to different corners. Tell them they can leave the corner (I found standing to be more effective) when they are ready to go (pick a chore). Then when they say they're ready to leave the corner, give them what they need for the chore.

    Regular timeouts have an immediate reward...they get out. There's nothing more. However, needing to do a chore, or what they were told to do in the first place...there is no immediate reward...

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 4:09 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • By the way, I have three boys. Any combination of two from the three will get along just fine and play wonderfully together!!

    Put all three of them in a room......well, just don't put all three of them in a room. LOL

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 4:10 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

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