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Birthday party drama

So back in January, my daughter and I were talking with a friend of hers and her mother about possibly combining their birthday parties since they were born on the same day and have the same friends. We agreed and the date was set and reserved. Well now the girl is telling my daughter it is her birthday party since her mom is "planning any paying for everything and that I have done nothing". I of course am paying half and her mom is basically planning the party the way her daughter wants it done and just telling me what she has picked up and what she is planning. The party is only two hours long so there is really no time for anything I would want to plan. Now my daughter doesn't want to do a combo party because this girl is consistantly rude to her and just plain bossy! I don't want her party to be ruined since you only celebrate it once a year and there is plenty of time to make different plans.....is it rude to cancel or do I just continue with the plan and allow my daughter a second party for herself?? Advice please!

 
khedy

Asked by khedy at 11:00 AM on Mar. 28, 2012 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (4)
  • No, it's not rude. It is in the best interest of your child.
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 11:14 AM on Mar. 28, 2012

  • I don't think it's rude to pull out of this disaster. I think it wasn't the best if ideas to try and plan a double birthday for the girls to begin with. But that's me. You and your daughter are having second thoughts about this, and that's fine. I would just call the other mom and let her know that you've changed your mind about the double party and would like to do something separate, on a different day, for your daughter.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 11:34 AM on Mar. 28, 2012

  • that is a sticky situation. since the two girls share many of the same friends, you don't want to upset the girl to the point she makes the friends pick a side. I would talk to the mother without the girls around. tell her that is seems like both girls would prefer to be the center of attention for their party and that is fair. we only get 1birthday a year. you think it would be better for you to have a separate party for dd. By saying it is both girls, you are not accusing her dd of anything. it takes away and negatives that she might take from that.


    The mom may be the one feeding her dd the stuff about how she is planning everything. the mom may be relieved that you brought it up. or she may have no idea and it gives her a chance to talk to her daughter about being gracious.


    good luck! and btw it is very passive aggressive to continue with the party and then have a second one later. I would not do that.

    zetajen

    Answer by zetajen at 11:15 AM on Mar. 28, 2012

  • I don't think it is rude to pull out of this disaster. Let your daughter have her own party.
    mamabear484

    Answer by mamabear484 at 4:38 PM on Mar. 28, 2012