Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

husband issues- does anyone relate?

So i take care of my baby-6mths-my hubby works and does side work to make up for my not working. i understand he has alot of financial stress and i don't ask very much of him- put your socks away and your beer cans in the recycling bag, instead of on the counter that i just cleaned off. every once in a while it would be nice if he could take care of our son with out me asking. He just said "you think i'm a horrible dad don't you" bcuz all he's done for the last 3 hours is play xbox. I said no, then since the subject was up i said could you change his diaper, put his pj's on and feed him. He started to feed him and then he starts playing xbox again. his bottle is only 1/2 gone, i said "could you feed him so he can go to bed" and he said "well chris from work wanted me to join the game". so guess who finished feeding him. i guess its just annoying bcuz ALL day i put my sons needs 1st and my hubby puts his own needs 1st!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:51 AM on Jan. 23, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (9)
  • That dumb I would be mad.. my hubby works 4 nite 12 hour shifts the nite shifts but I let him sleep in on his first day off then he takes my son the next day or he will help me with him.. you two should be more important then a game or his friends...

    Answer by MiSs.SmOkEy at 1:53 AM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • I can totally relate! My SO works during the day, and hes quite the handyman/mechanic so he does some of that on the side to make up for ME not working now. Before I had my son, I worked at the hospital so I was putting in 12 hr shifts and then I worked part time at another job, the graveyard shift, occasionally. Now, HE goes to work, comes home, showers, eats, and then watches tv, or gets on the computer, and then goes to bed, when I've been home doing the cleaning, cooking and taking care of all the baby business. Continued...

    Answer by jdrae13 at 2:10 AM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • Continued...After dinner lately, I've been asking him to watch our son just for a little bit so I can get a small break, and he always says "I'm so tired. I've been working all day." That gets me so angry, because he makes it sound like what I do isn't work! PLUS we have 3 teenagers and lately he hasn't been much help with them either! It almost makes me want to go back to work and have him stay home, but I much rather stay home with the baby! Kind of a catch 22 I guess. If you come up with a remedy, other than kicking them out or choking the crap out of them, LOL, let me know! Good Luck!

    Answer by jdrae13 at 2:11 AM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • "Well, Chris from work can feed himself, your son can't"


    Answer by TiccledBlue at 5:53 AM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • I can almost completely relate to your situation. My SO works 6 days a week for 12 hours during the day and all I ask him to do is put away the clean dishes and he has to take the trash to the dumpster cuz he's the only one with a car yet he acts like I ask a lot of him and he comes up with "oh I work for a living". Well I know other dads who work more then he does and they do more. Anyways as far as playing or taking care of our daughter, he pretty much does it when he "feels" like it. He takes good care of us financially but there is more to parenthood then diapers and other costly needs. I'm not sure if it will help matters but either talk to your SO or stop doing things for him until he pays attention, starts being a good father and/or knows what's important.

    Answer by mom_n_goddess at 8:51 AM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • sounds like my husband. he works 12 hr days just so we dont lose the house cuz i stay home with our son. he asks if hs a bad father cuz he doesnt help with the baby but after working sun up to sun down i dont ask anything of him. occasionally he will feed the baby and last weekend e took him so i could sleep a little but i dont make him do anything since he works. he leaves his beer glasses on the coffee table for me to ckean up and he pours leftover coffee in te sink and doesnt rinse it so it stains and i have o scrub it but hey he works so i am his slave

    Answer by Butterflysky_24 at 9:41 AM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • We both work and commute together FT.. I do all the baths, bed ritual, and if needed medicine.. he gets the middle-of-the-night feeding.. BUT.. spends ALL or a good amount of his free time (weekends) playing 360 or PS3...

    No hunny.. playing/watching your child does not mean plop her on the floor w/toys while you play your games from the couch.

    We can all relate in one way or another.

    Answer by ZoeKatsMom at 10:15 AM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • oh man I have the same problem with my husband!!! It is baby is 16 days old and he gets angry if i wake him up and ask him to feed him or whatever! He gets mad at me if during the day (since he hasnt been working for a week now) I ask him to help me out a little bit. He tells me I dont do enough...yeah I am not quite sure what to do about him!

    Answer by Mrs_williams90 at 11:16 AM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • I have the same issues with my husband from time to time. On the weekend when he's not working I ask him to watch our son so I can have five minutes to myself. Or if I need to go to the grocery store or target. All he say's to me is can't you take him with you. It gets really frustrating sometimes. Men think because we have the boobs that we are predisposed to care for the baby 24/7. They don't understand that being a mom is a full time job and we need a few hours off every once in a while.

    Answer by adg0114 at 6:30 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.