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i asked this earlier but didnt get much of anything with. please no anon's.

Okay, i closed the other question but here it goes again i've been with my SO for about four years now. we have a really good relationship and i do love him and what not. but sometimes i get the urge to talk to my ex. my ex did horrible things to, but i still want to see how he's doing. i mean, really he raped me. after he preached about religion this and that. he was a mormon. him and i were together for about 5 yrs and yeah. we broke up when he left on his mission. i am terrified of him. but i want to talk to him. i recently got my new email address and he emailed me and asked me about my move, which i have no idea how he knows about it because i dont talk to anyone he does. i know my SO would kill me if he knew i have been talking to him through email. but really what the hell is wrong with me. advice answers something give me something please and thank you. please no anon's i cant deal with them nemore!

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MommaBear1129

Asked by MommaBear1129 at 3:19 AM on Jan. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (23)
  • Earlier someone suggest i see a therapist and i have been seeing one, but its not helping. i cant even sleep with my lights off.. because i'm scared. i need some type of help.
    MommaBear1129

    Answer by MommaBear1129 at 3:20 AM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • I don't really know but I think you just have to make yourself stop. You know what I mean? I think you possibly still have an attachment to him and trust me. Your not the only person who has struggled with an attachment to someone in their past, even if they are bad. I think you need to respect your husband and cut off all ties with him. I think he seems stalkerish too. He seems like a bad person in a lot of ways and you need good people in your life. Just remember the bad things he has did and make an effort. Instead of talking to your ex try talking to your current SO more and make your relationship even closer. Good luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:25 AM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • I would say forget about him... I know that's hard but if he did horrible things to you then you don't need to talk to him. My question is are you really happy with you SO? Most of the time thats why people want to talk to EX and such is because they aren't happy now? Just a question dont get mad, im not tring to say that you aren't.
    Pooky_mommy

    Answer by Pooky_mommy at 3:27 AM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • I know what you mean, its just like really how the hell did he get my email addy? i mean i didnt give it to him i havent had contact with him for 4 yrs now. so yeah. i dont know. he hurt me. andi think the reason i want contact is because i'm revengeful. i guess you could say. and anyone that has ever hurt me in a physical way i want to hurt them back? i dont know i think i have some major issues!
    MommaBear1129

    Answer by MommaBear1129 at 3:28 AM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • pooky_mommy i am really happy. i mean my son and my SO are my life. i would do anything for either one of them.
    MommaBear1129

    Answer by MommaBear1129 at 3:29 AM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • I would say for one if he raped u forget him and if it is going to make your SO mad dont even bother with ur ex. There is a reason ur ex is in the past and it sounds like thats where he needs to stay. I have been married for 4 years and sumtimes think about how my ex is doing but i will never contact him cause like ur SO my husband will kill me.
    lorenzosgurl

    Answer by lorenzosgurl at 3:31 AM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • Ok.... Just change ur addy again and forget about him..... i know what u mean though.... i talked to my ex once and it almost messed up everything that i worked so hard for ....
    Pooky_mommy

    Answer by Pooky_mommy at 3:34 AM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • lorenzogurl..well see he did horrible things, but he was my first boyfriend.. i mean i dont know. i mean i've been emailing back and forth with him for the past week or so, and i'm still trying to figure out how he got my email addy. or how he knew we were moving. or any of that stuff. i havent talked seen or even heard from him in like four yrs i think thats why i'mwondering like whats up with him? i dont know.. i should just change my addy again and say eff you huh?
    MommaBear1129

    Answer by MommaBear1129 at 3:34 AM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • yeah have u ever thought it might be ur hubby testing you... since i am sure he has ur email... my hubby did that to me
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:36 AM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • no i know its him. because he hasnt changed his email addy in years trust me. i know its him and its scaring me. my ex.. was a very nice person up until the whole "mission" thing came up. like we had areally good relationship and then he snapped, with the pressure of everything. i was only 15 when i started dating him. and then things changed he changed. like i dont have felings for him i just i wnat to know what he wants..why does he want to come back in my life now, i was finally getting over my fear of things and then he comes back.. i am no understanding uhhhg.. i dont kno but thank you to those that are trying to help. much appreciated and ive taken it all into consideration. thank you once again.
    MommaBear1129

    Answer by MommaBear1129 at 3:41 AM on Jan. 23, 2009

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