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I need to leave my son's father once and for all, do to his constant drug relapsing. I've been going thru this with him for 8 yrs and it's been so hard.I know i need a support group.

Has anyone alteady been thru this and how did they get thru it?

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Billie001

Asked by Billie001 at 9:35 PM on Jul. 19, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (7)
  • You need to be in a safe environment and especially as you have a child. The decision has to be made so you need to make it happen no matter what. Do you have family support?There are shelters and different agencies. You and your son deserve to be cared for and
    provided for. You are a strong woman and it will be difficult but in the long run be easier now than later. You are raising a future husband to a young lady out there and she deserves a good man. I wish you the best. Please chat more if you would like
    Rebecca02

    Answer by Rebecca02 at 9:47 PM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • My mom left my biological father. She left while he was at work and only took some clothing. Sent her dad back the next day for a list of things, and then came back later with police to do a more thorough move-out. She lost a lot but gained freedom. Lived with family a while.
    TXdanielly

    Answer by TXdanielly at 10:13 PM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • National Women’s Health Resource Center

    Down at the bottom of every page here is a link called members resources.  Call one of them and get help to get out. Almost any womens shelter will take you and your kids and help you break the cycle from a drug abuser. Good luck!

    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 10:13 PM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • You can look into Al-anon or Narc-anon. These are for family/friends of addicts. There is a group on here called Wives of Addicts. It is best to take care of yourself and your children. My SO grew up in a family in which his parents were both in active addiction. Later, he turned to drugs himself at 15. Now he is 2 1/2 years clean. Thanks to working a 12-Step program. Send me a message if you need support or just want to chat about this! Good luck to you and your family.
    TeaAndrews

    Answer by TeaAndrews at 10:21 PM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • My ex died of a heroin OD, I was with him for 7 years.
    Another ex died from a heroin OD a couple months ago. Another from taking acid and jumping off of a bridge over the Mississippi river. One was hit by a car, one killed himself. The one I was with for seven years was the love of my life, I still think about him everyday and it kills me. He was a ex because we had issues because of his using. I would do almost anything to spend one more day with him. I have lost a hall of a lot of BF's (as you can see) Obviously some of them had drug problems, depression, etc. And drug problems stem from depression, they are genetic too. (continued below)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:41 PM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • If he is hurting your family then you have to think about your kids, if he is taking money then you have to do what is right for your family.
    But know that he himself is not choosing to do this to you, and as much as you think he may not care, it kills him inside even more than you because he sees himself doing it but can not make himself stop.
    Just let him know that no matter what happens between the two of you that you will always be there if he needs support. And please don't write him off as a waisted drug addict who does not deserve respect or love. He is hurting so much more than you can know.
    Good luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:41 PM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • I dated an addict for 3 years, and I left him because of his addiction. We both have children, but not together. I have always been there for him, though. We are wonderful friends. Hes been clean for over a year, with the exception of one brief relapse. He tells me all the time how much I mean to him bc I never turned my back on him. He doesn't have "clean" friends, anymore. His NA mentor was one of his drug buddies. He's made some new friends, but he works and goes to meetings. Thats about it! He isn't interested in a relationship with anyone, or going out. I think he is finally going to do it and I'm very proud of him! Anyway... my point-- You should leave him. Put yourself and your child in a healthy environment. He needs help and you cannot fix it for him. My ex told me that the only time he even thought about quitting is when he hit rock bottom. Point him in the right direction and run! He might see what he's lost and get the help he needs.
    drowninginboys

    Answer by drowninginboys at 5:55 PM on Jul. 20, 2008

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