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I am going through a divorce and have met a wonderful guy who was actually a friend of the family before hand. I have two children, 14 and 7, and my 14 year old is having a very hard time with me seeing someone other than her father. Any advice on what to do....she knows that we go out, but I have not brought him around her she's not ready for that yet....

No other information just need help and ideas on how to deal with this with my 14 yeard old.

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notsostrong

Asked by notsostrong at 9:46 AM on Jan. 23, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Well I say more info is needed because you are going through a divorce, not final and you are in another relationship already. So really think about your kid feels. You didn't even give it time, you didn't end that relationship first before you started another. You at least should have given it time before bringing the new man around. So you can't make your children like him, the fact is your child may never do so.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:50 AM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • im sorry your daughter is up set about it. i was just informed that my parents are getting oen too. im 23 adn im very highly pissed about it.i dont think i can even listen to my mom about bringing another guy around. although i havent gone throguh the whole proces yet of the divorce, my mom just keeps tellign us that they both stil love us kids and its not our fault. i really think teh only way your daughter will get better of teh situation is if she has tiem to get use to it. im still in disbeleif about mine but i know in time i will just have to learn.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:54 AM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • I think you are going a little bit too fast and haven't gave her time to cope. Think about your child first and men later.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:57 AM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • As a rule of thumb kids of divorced parents want nothing more than foe Mom and Dad to get back together. Regardless of how many times they have been told it isn't going to happen they secretly dream/pray/hope for it. For that reason alone kids of divorced parents want NOTHING to do with the new guy/girl. It is the end of their hopes/dreams. 14 is an especially hard time to go through this. Counseling for all of you to make this transition would help. Having someone to vent to for a 14 yr old might help head off 'acting out' behaviors. As for the man you're seeing..I personally would think about backing away for a while. Your divorce is not yet final and I bet your kids see it..pretty much like dancing on Dads grave..so to speak. You have a right to a life...just not at the emotional expense of your kids.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 10:05 AM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • You aren't even finished with the divorce yet. Your daughter isn't either. This is an extremely hard age for her to witness all of this. She is just discovering boys herself and the whole idea of love and relationships. All of this is so much harder on her than you think. Starting up dating someone else so soon just makes it worse. Slow down and spend the time dating your daughter. What an opportunity to get close to her. The years fly by and she needs you now more than ever.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:13 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

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