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I dont want to be like this

I in the past few weeks have started popping my almost 3 yr old daughter. I do not believe in it, but now if she reaches for something she is not supposed to have- I just react and pop her hand. I also pop her on the bottom sometimes- through her clothing. It is never hard but defenetly because of anger. My daughter is a good girl- I just lose my temper and I feel so bad about it. I do not do it every day, but I think she is getting scared that I might do it again. I hate that she might be scared of me. I am a very good mother- nuturing, sweet, there for my little ones, but this just recently has started and I want to stop it now. Anyone else been through this, and have any ideas on how to stop. I should just sit back and breathe or count- but I just reactin the moment. I hate that Im doing this....

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:36 PM on Jul. 19, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I agree I think you are being hard on yourself. I think most of us have been there, either by popping or yelling out of frustration and anger. We do spank but we try very hard not to do it out of anger. I've btdt, and honestly I'm not sure what to tell you other than you just have to catch yourself. I've become a yeller lately when I'm worn out and I hate it too. I have noticed though that it happens more on days when I am tired, esp when my husband has classes that night. I try now to get a nap in the afternoons, let everything go and just lay down anyway. I would rather let a load of laundry go and get some "me time, down time or a nap" rather than lose it b/c I haven't gotten some rest that day. It seems the days I get a good night sleep and/or a nap that day (exercise REALLY helps too!) I have SO much more patients.
    pwfaith

    Answer by pwfaith at 11:01 PM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • I think you are being a little harsh on yourself we pop my daughter on the butt or hand once in a while but only as last resort. She is at the stage where she will keep pushing to she how far she can get. So once she does the same thing about 3 times I pop her not real hard but enough to get her attention. I think you should not react by hitting though if this your first reaction you may need to stop her from what she is doing, since she is in trouble and do a time out, so you both can think about the situation.
    ilovemybananer

    Answer by ilovemybananer at 10:41 PM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • There is nothing wrong with a spanking! I'm from the south. My 2 year old was throwing a tantrum in the store I spanked his behind and a woman came up to me and said "way to go" Don't hit her out of anger. But let her know you mean business. You are a good mom if you spank or don't spank, as long as you are providing discipline and love.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:48 PM on Jul. 19, 2008


  • Kids at that age are beginning to learn how to push mommies buttons a bit too. They're learning to test the boundaries. This may be a new adjustment for both of you. Give yourself some time and be sure to get adaquate rest, exercise and eat well. The only other thing I can add is to check your priorities. I notice that when I play online too long or procrastinate things I should be doing, then I get rushed and lose my patience easier than when I have my priorities in order.
    pwfaith

    Answer by pwfaith at 11:01 PM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • Thank you all so much for your comments. I just feel horrible about it- but I know Im not alone. I go for a couple days where I just hold it in, and act calm and sweet, and good, what she needs- then one day it is all over with, i get so frusterated so easily. I also have a son who just turned 1 today- so I have a busy house. My dh works long hours but does so much while he is here. I just had to vent- and see that I'm not alone. Im not beating my dd, or abusing her- just doing more that what I feel is right. Thanks again for your anwsers and support!!!
    cmlowery

    Answer by cmlowery at 11:07 PM on Jul. 19, 2008