Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I'm newly separated, what do I do?

I just got separated from my husband but we're not immediately getting divorced to see if MAYBE it can still work out. My question is, do I pursue him or should he do the pursuing? I don't want to be a pest a push him further away. I would like for the marriage to still work out. Any help is appreciated.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:50 PM on Jul. 19, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • I guess it depends on how you were in the marriage and what he likes. Some men prefer chasing. Some men want what the relationship was like in the beginning. did you pursue him in the dating stage? Did things change during the marriage? Do whatever wasn't happening in the marriage when things went wrong.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:04 PM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • Why were you seperated? I'd say that if you do want him back- give it a little time and start sending nice messages/cards to him. Be friendly to him- but not overly friendly. Im not sure what else.
    cmlowery

    Answer by cmlowery at 11:20 PM on Jul. 19, 2008

  • I would say fi you love him call him and tell him good morning or in the night and just let him know you were thinking about him. Men need reassurance just as much as we do.
    tornapartwith5

    Answer by tornapartwith5 at 1:46 AM on Jul. 20, 2008

  • I'd say that you should be friendly, honest, and open with him. Communicate with him about how you're feeling, what you've been up to lately, etc. Obviously your marriage is at stake here, but this is a great time to work on your Friendship... get to know each other again. Good luck!
    crazysocks830

    Answer by crazysocks830 at 2:36 AM on Jul. 20, 2008

  • If you feel like calling him or having him over for dinner, then make a date of it. If you are supposed to be together then you will be and it will come naturally. If you are separated, and he is still hurting, then this may be hard for him to understand, so be gentle and understanding if he says no. Explain to him that you miss him but dont play mind games with him. You deserve to be honest and sincere with eachother.
    taracv

    Answer by taracv at 3:40 AM on Jul. 20, 2008

  • Date other men if he comes around so be it. You got separated for a reason and when my soon to be ex is gone it will feel like a party just to be alone in my home.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:23 PM on Jul. 20, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.