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How to handle ex wife drama?

Last night i went through something im not sure i can get over. my fiance had to work today and we were suppose to get his wonderful twin boys but since he wasnt goin to be home she told him that she would keep them. That basically there was no reason for me to have them if he wasnt here! That really hurt my feelings because when she needs to goto the bar im good enough to watch them but im not when hes at work for 4 hours. please help me out on this im not sure i can get over this. It feels as if im not good enough to be with the boys.

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tber22

Asked by tber22 at 2:52 PM on Jan. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Level 2 (0 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • why does she need to go to the bar? Ugh, I cannot stand ex-wives. Always drama. She just wants to push her power around and decide when and where her kids get to see their dad. It probably has very little to do with you unless she really thinks you're unfit (which it doesn't sound like the case to me). DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA
    MammaMia72

    Answer by MammaMia72 at 2:56 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • you are good enough you care. maybe shes just being grumpy and haha but next time she wants you to watch them due to what ever i would let her know im sorry im busy or gonna be gone at that time. or ask her stight out why is it ok for me to have them when its like this but cant when its like that. good luck hun.
    tabbys4

    Answer by tabbys4 at 2:57 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • i do see some bm's need to understand its time for them to do what they want with no kids ( bar shoping dinner ) i dont understand why some bm use the kids to show how much controll they have. and if the dad and g/f or wife are good to the kids then why not. my truoble bm drops kids to me to much lol. but no matter i love them. its hard dealing with an x.
    tabbys4

    Answer by tabbys4 at 3:00 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • My advice to you is dont even trip about it. She is trying to get to you that is all she is doing. She is basically lettting you know that you arent important even though you are going to marry their dad. WTF. It is ok. She is bitter and jealous.
    aznblond9

    Answer by aznblond9 at 3:02 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • You sound like your a great person and the boys will love you but people are very protective over their children. This doesnt have anything to do with you. I have a child and my childs father wants him and his new girlfriend to come and pick up my child. I dont know the girl, he has only known her for a few months. I want my child to spend time with her father not the girl. (Well my situation is a little bit more crazy than that) It can be so many reasons why she didnt let the boys come over. I wouldnt take it personal. All I know is that the father should take any opportunity to see his children. Whether the girl is going to the bar or not. Dont ever say anything about her going to the bar because she can use this against you and you will never see the children again. She just maybe having a bad day...dont sweat it
    MizzThom

    Answer by MizzThom at 3:12 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • I know exactly what you are going through. Me and my husband were married in Jan 06, and I have been dealing with his ex since then. They have three children between them, and its hard dealing with all her mood swings. My advice is that you be the person that you know you can be to the children. You sound like a great person and I am sure that you are. It takes a special woman to take care of someone else's children, just remember when the kids get older they will remember everything that you have done for them and that is all that counts in the end.
    dawnmitchell

    Answer by dawnmitchell at 3:20 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • Got nothing to do with you; especially since you're good enough when she wants to go to a bar... this crap is all on her...it sounds like a control issue.... It's not like you could stop her right now, but once you and the fiance are married, she can no longer do that crap. Sounds like she's just being a b* because she can. DawnMictchell put it well....
    PaceMyself

    Answer by PaceMyself at 3:51 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • Why dont you just ask her why you can watch them for her to go to the bar, but not any other time? Thats what I would do before I would stress over it.
    iluvmyboys78

    Answer by iluvmyboys78 at 4:28 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • You are letting her dictate your feelings. I would get something in writing if you expect to have them even when he isn't home. I don't know how the agreement works but I am sure there are many women here who can tell you. Perhaps it changes if you aren't married. If you feel taken advantage of, stop taking them when it is strictly a favor to her, only take them when your fiance is home and only if you want to. If you don't decide now what you want, make it known and stick to it, you will continue to be at the mercy of her whims.
    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 4:33 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • Aww you sound like a very sweet person. The X is trying to get your goat. Don't you even think on it. Only take them when your SO is home from now on. Maybe she sees how strong the two of you are when you are together so she gets snippy when its just you. Either way you are being taken advantage of. You are going to be a wonderful step mommy to those babies. Don't let her get you down. Just speak to your SO about it. Hugs to you sweetie.
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 5:04 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

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