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In case something happens to you and your husband and you have this brother and this sister, who would you trust with your child?

Just pondering this and thinking about setting up a will in case something happens... Say you have this brother with wife and a daughter, more than stable. On the other hand you have this sister who's single, 40 something, no child, and stable. My dilemma is this if I leave it to my bro., I'm sure they'll love her but obviously daughter comes first. Also, I'm sure my niece would bring up the fact that she's just adopted and it's her parents not hers in case they get into fight & that would hurt my daughter's feelings. My sister on the other hand is head over heels my daughter and knows in my heart that she would love her so much. Also, no competition. I also know that it would make my sister sooo happy, cuz she wants a baby so bad. On the other hand, I know that a child is better off with a set of parents. I'm torn between half. What would you do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:20 PM on Jan. 23, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (13)
  • I had to make decisions like that for our will. I have my parents and my husbands parents who are young enough to raise the kids if something happened soon. I also have an aunt who has no kids and shes younger and also stable. I chose my childless aunt. Why? I know she would love a child to raise and cant have any of her own. It also would be fair regarding the grandparents and any visits. I would go with the childless one obviously. I think your brother has his own kids and a family so not saying he wouldnt do a great job but I think your sister would be better.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 3:22 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • how old is your daughter...if she is old enough leave it up to her.
    Mikayla_lynn

    Answer by Mikayla_lynn at 3:23 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • it sounds like you've already made your mind up about the sister. the sister is the way i would go. plenty of intelagent well rounded people come from single parent homes too.
    watersgirls

    Answer by watersgirls at 3:23 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • the sister would be the best choice and a set of parent dont mean anything for all u kno ur brother and his wife could devorice.
    mamaof2boys148

    Answer by mamaof2boys148 at 3:23 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • Hmmm I think you'd win with either.
    I dont think its necessarily going to happen with your bro like you are thinking. Your child being adopted and what not might never come into play.

    Which one holds more of the same values as you do(discipline-wise, spiritually, etc). Thats who I would choose. I know my siblings would both love my children but which one would do the most right and good by them in other ways. Thats where my thoughts would go to pick.
    BonesDragonDew

    Answer by BonesDragonDew at 3:25 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • i'd go with the sister, love is all you need. just make sure you set the standards on how you wish your child to be raised.
    chickenhobbit

    Answer by chickenhobbit at 3:26 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • My daughter is 15 months old. Thanks for all your help, ladies! The majority answers help a lot! Yes, I'm leaning towards my sister.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:31 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • I agree I would chose the sister. We have decided to have my SIL who is also single with no children will have custody over the grandparents. Why? Because she is stern but loving. You need to have someone who can be objective and is able to not only love your child but also disipline them when appropriate. Grandparents tend to coddle too much. Even if my SIL does not have children I know she would be an excellent parent. As far as having two parents, no one can replace the parents a child has lost the most important thing is to find someone who will love them like a daughter whether with one or two people.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:35 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • I would go with the sister. It sounds as the choice that would make everyone happy, and single parents are more common now a days and it truely does not matter. I grew up with both. My dad remarried to a woman with two children, and my mom did not. With my dad I went from an only child to having brothers and sisters, this was a big change, and really upset me to have to share attention when I felt I was due more. With mom she and I became best friends and have remained that way for almost 30 years. When I was old enough to choose who i wanted to live with, it was always mom and i would just visit dad.
    vbongard

    Answer by vbongard at 3:46 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • Yes.. Dude will go to my sister and Jesse will go to my hubby freind since birth.. LOL I have always thought my sister should get them... Shes young, stable, its just the way to go...
    HottMamaRossx2

    Answer by HottMamaRossx2 at 3:58 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

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