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The naughtiest kids in the world?

So my dh's son and daughter come stay with us each weekend, they are 12 and 13 and I dread them coming over. They are horrible. They do as they please, make a mess, are rude, have taken my things, say horrible things to their father, swear at us and the list goes on. I want to tell him that I don't want them here unless they behave, but I am not the type of person to push people away. I told dh he needs to talk with them, but he says why bother because they won't listen to him anyway. How do I make this situation better? Is there anything I can do?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:11 PM on Jan. 23, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • It is important for many reasons
    1. Honing his parenting skills
    2. Sticking to it skills
    3. teaching his children what is right and wrong (imp. for all parties)
    4. proving to his children that he LOVES THEM (its easy to let them do what they want but at their age especially they DO want/need those boundaries)
    5. Helping his chidren become SUCESSFUL ADULTS
    6. Helping your marriage and family

    Good luck and wishing y9u and yours lots of patience breathing and prayers.
    MamiJaAyla

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 3:10 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • you cant tell him his kids cant visit thats just wrong and selfish. If hes not willing to talk to them maybe you should sit down and talk to them. They are old enough to understand i would sit down and tell them that it hurts your feeling when they are disrespectfull to you and there father and that no one should be treated that way. I would try to encourage your husband to talk to them to maybe both of you can.
    Mommy2B04

    Answer by Mommy2B04 at 6:19 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • This is a tough one because if you say they can't come over unless they behave you could be branded the wicked stepmother even if they are the ones being wicked! Maybe they have issues with their father being married again. Family counseling would probably be a good idea. Then someone else could help them look at their behavior. Is talking to their mother an option?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:22 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • Definitely say something. They are smart enough to know how far to push you both & it's obvious that they lack any respect. Talk it over with your DH first so that the two of you can come up with a plan. Your DH REALLY has to step up to the plate & set some ground rules for the two of you & how you want them to treat you. Make a plan to have a family meeting, You don't have to say anything except stand by your DH & give reassurance. Let them know straight on that their behavior will no longer be tolerated there will be consequence to pay. Hopefully their mother will stand by the rules that you have enforced in your home. If not, too bad..Your house, Your rules!  It's not right for them to abuse the relationship that they COULD HAVE with you. Make a change so that their visits can be more pleasant. This is your home & you deserve to be happy & have their respect.

    onespecialmom

    Answer by onespecialmom at 7:30 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • let the children know that you are happy they come and visit but they need to show you respect.  Their father needs to have a talk with them in private before they arrive to your home on what is expected.  You need to also need to remind the kids when they misbehave that their behavior is unacceptable.  Children need some guidance and set limits.  Good Luck!!

    mommiedear

    Answer by mommiedear at 8:34 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • BEAT THEIR BUTTS!! im sorry but i think thats whats wrong with the world today-kids dont get properly punished. i was raised in south alabama and in my family-there is no problem with spanking. the only issue is what they are gonna spank you with this time. lol. i was not beat and im not saying beat your kids. but i think that alot of "issues" that we are having with our kids these days can be solved/prevented with a good old fashioned @$$ beating. my son is 2 years old-does he get spanked hell yes
    SThompson21

    Answer by SThompson21 at 10:31 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • of course it should be done be the parents
    SThompson21

    Answer by SThompson21 at 10:31 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • I would be telling DH that you are going to have a family meeting with the kids let them know what is acceptable and what is not,I would let them know the punishments if they don't mind and make sure hubby follows thru,set boundries with everyone.If nothing changes get the move on don't be miserable.
    mom2fivekids579

    Answer by mom2fivekids579 at 10:47 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • Your husband has to talk with them. You can't, no matter what you do or say it will be all your fault. Do you have a good relationship with their mom? Maybe you can work with her. I think I would really be honest and not give my dh a choice.
    mrsrevjohnson

    Answer by mrsrevjohnson at 2:20 AM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • If they refuse to respect you or your home after being given the rules, given appropriate punishments for breaking the rules and being given the opportunity to improve their behavior, then their father can spend his visitations with them away from home. You should not have to worry about items being stolen from your home or being disrespected by the children in your home. If he refuses to make them comply with basic rules, then he and they can be inconvenienced by having to meet elsewhere, IMO.
    Avarah

    Answer by Avarah at 2:40 AM on Jan. 24, 2009