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SD crossed the line & got physical

My boyfriend is in the process of gaining full custody of his 2 daughters (13 & 15) The 15 y/0 had an outburst in the car about something her father said. She started cursing us out and when I told her to watch her mouth, it got worse and then she turned violent and slapped me. Her father was furious of her actions at the time, but the next day she called him to apologize which made him feel better, but I'm still furious about the whole situation. This is the first time she's ever disrespected me and I don't know what to do. I could really use some advise. I'm still so mad at her, I don't even know what to say.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:45 PM on Jan. 23, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (9)
  • Without knowing of their background its hard to say what to do. There could be alot in their past that is dictating how they are acting. Do they want to live with you guys? Do they have a choice? Do they get along with their mom? Were they abuse or mistreated by their mom? All of that comes into play. If they have issues with their own mom then they will have them with you.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 6:51 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • you are much better than i am. as a matter of fact i have a step mom and i thought i was going to hit her once-she taught me very quickly thats not a smart move. i think you should sit down with your sd and talk this out once you have cooled down. if it happens again beat her @$$. if she wants to bring herself up to a womans place then she should be treated as a woman. but at the same time keep in mind that this is a very difficult time for her. when i thought i was going to hit my step mom, i had just been informed that her and my dad had just been given custody of me. gl
    SThompson21

    Answer by SThompson21 at 6:51 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • Her father needs to have a talk with her. She probably feels ashamed for what she's done, but she owes you more of an apology than him. He should tell her that and hold her accountable for what she did to you.
    drowninginboys

    Answer by drowninginboys at 6:52 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • A simple "i'm sorry" should not be enough unless she shows that she truly is. If she SAYS 'sorry' but doesn't ACT sorry, she's NOT off the hook if it were me! :( If she truly shows that she does regret doing it, forgive her and move on. But if not, I wouldn't just let it go. I don't know what I'd do, but there MUST be consequences for behavior like that.
    MamaCatCat

    Answer by MamaCatCat at 7:04 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • These girls have been through a lot. They have had issues with both mom & dad, so I try to keep this in mind. Their dad is turning his life around & their mom is not. They are happy that their dad is gaining custody and they love me and I've been there for them for the last 3 years that I've known them. She was mad that her dad confronted her about something that she didn't want to hear and when she started cursing him out, I told her to watch her mouth and she completely flipped out. I know she feels ashamed now and she's worried that I won't forgive her. I told him that I love her, but it's going to take more than an I'm sorry to fix this. He carries a lot of guilt for what he's done in the past. He's just happy that she's sorry and that she's talking to him again. (These girls have him whooped!)
    concernedstep

    Answer by concernedstep at 7:06 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • Wow that is a tough one. I think she should be punished big time, but obviously he has to be the one to do it. Have you talked to him about it and your concerns?
    WishyClarkson

    Answer by WishyClarkson at 7:21 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • Rebuild the trust, accept the appology, reaffirm your love for her, but make it very clear that she is never to lay a hand on anyone in anger, and let it go. There is a time for punishment and this is one time where it sounds like forgiveness is a better consequence.

    Dad's not whooped he feels guilty, guilt is very powerfull.
    luckysevenwow

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 9:21 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • It really sounds like she has a lot going on and was angry about it and you were the closest when she lost control. If she truly is remorseful about it then I say tell her that hitting anyone in anger is not ok what the consequences will be if it ever happens again and let it go.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:32 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • i know damn well when she hit me i woulda beat her damnnn ass right there in the car!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:02 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

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