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Please help Also posted in journal ( I need advice,)

A few months ago my husband tore up my bank card because I bought a pizza for me and my girls, who are 3 and 21 months. He buys him stuff and leaves me and my girls high and dry.
So today I call the bank and ordered me a new card, a few hours later he calls and ask me what the hell did I order me a new card for, I told him me and the girls need money at the house also.
I'm a sahm, and he does not give me any money at all, he controls all the money because he is the only one that works, He told me YOU WILL NOT HAVE A NEW CARD AT ALL..
HE works tll 8am and he said we will talk about this when I get home, I told him fine. he has told me to leave over and over, I think if he tells me that in the morning I'm going to take the girls and leave, only thing is I have no money, but a friend that lives in a different state said I could come to her house.
WtF am I supposed to do if I need money.


Asked by Anonymous at 6:57 PM on Jan. 23, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • id tell him to go to hell. hes an asshole and he doesnt deserve you. i know how you feel im a sahm and i dont have money ever. hes being controlling and thats not good for you or your daughters. if i were you id leave before he even got home and leave him wondering. i was in a relationship like that. you may think hell change...but he wont...thats how some men are. you dont need to be put through that kind of hell. the next step is being abusive. my ex wasnt abusive for a long time before he started beating me. i dont think you shoudl risk you and your dughters safety...

    Answer by xhellxfirex495 at 7:01 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • pawn something (anything) and leave.

    Answer by SThompson21 at 6:59 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • Is your naqme on the checking acct ?? Then go take all the money out tomorrow. And leave. You can do it. It's legal.

    Answer by Ann7227 at 7:00 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • make sure you have enough to get to a friends house and go wait til in the morning and if he still says you dont need money or wont get you a bank card then i would go to my friends house. or have your friend come pick you up or something

    Answer by SThompson21 at 7:01 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • Yes My name is on the account also, but he has the only card and has it with him at all times. HE just has thrented that he will get the girls and I can not handle that, but if he tells me to get out in the morning I will, and the girls will go with me. Even If I have to sell this damn Wii and all the games with it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:04 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • I agree with Ann if your names on that account take it all and Id look into spousal abuse centers if u cant get any money by some chance

    Answer by rhonda111787 at 7:05 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • I hate telling you to be sneaky, because it could have violent consequences, but if you feel that you really need money you don't need a bank card to get it. If you have the account number, you can fill out a withdrawal slip at the bank and get the money from the teller. You don't need money to leave him, though. If you contact a women's shelter, they will help you leave safely and give you the resources you need to get back on your feet. You need to ask yourself the Dear Abby question: Are you (and your daughters) better off with or without him? I think that you know the answer to that. You and your daughters deserve to have love, happiness, and security. He won't give you that. You need to set a good example now for your girls so they can have successful relationships when they are older.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:05 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • Do whatever needs to be done to get out of this situation. Sell everything *if anything* that he has given you & get out. I would much rather be broke then staying with him, broke & controlled. Take your friends offer..She wouldn't have asked you if she didn't think you needed a way out.

    Answer by onespecialmom at 7:06 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • You and the girls do not need someone like this is your lifes, get what you can together when he is not home and take it to a safe place, clothes,toys,food, anything you may need.. Get your hands on some cash borrow it from friends or family, sell things or as PP said pawn stuff. Take your friend up on her offer, when he is gone and you have everything together LEAVE... He might be saying he wants you to leave but he doesnt, he is trying to trap you, trying to make you feel as tho you have no choice but to stay. Dont leave with him home just in case he starts something...I am not saying he will but just in case. Leave him a note, and start your life over... I wish ya'll the best

    Answer by midnightmoma at 7:07 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • If you wait until morning hes going to find a way to control that situation as well.... You need to leave now! You can get help from domestic violence groups, go to your friends, get yourself in order and seek legal advice, you can get it free if you aren't employed... Get on emergency assistance at your local family services... You can't wait until morning.. Believe me I know..

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:09 PM on Jan. 23, 2009