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How much "Nana" time is too much?

My son (2 yrs) spends every Friday night with his Nana (my MIL). Sometimes this will turn into Saturday night also. Ocassionaly he will spend a weeknight and then still do a Friday night too. (My grandparents-n-law live there also)

I'm wondering if this may be too much time? I wonder this because whenever we pick him up it turns into a huge deal, with him crying and saying "No go home! Spend night Nana!" and even after we get home he is cranky the rest of the night. And if we visit the home at anytime, then he always wants to stay there.

I trust my in laws and we get along great, so I don't think anything negative is coming from them. I do know that he gets spoiled over there (no set nap time, gets to eat/drink lots of junk) and his brother doesn't go over with him (he's only 1 yr and not sleeping through the night yet) so I'm sure he loves the sole attention of everyone.

Is it just normal behavior or too much time?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:10 PM on Jan. 23, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • It sounds like normal 2 year old behavior. Grandparents are so special and you are so blessed to have in laws who are so involved and willing to help. I was recently diagnosed with cancer and have yet to recieve any help with childcare at all from anyone in my family. I bet with 2 children under 2 you can definitely use the break! Count your blessing momma, and as your son gets older he will handle it all better. Two year olds only have one way to voice their protest and this is via tantrum. It will pass.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:01 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • It sounds like normal behavior to me. Hang in there
    vbongard

    Answer by vbongard at 8:17 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • My dd spends every friday night and sometimes saturdays with her grandparents too. I dont think its too much time or abnormal behavior but I have had some issues also with the no naps or weird bedtimes etc. I just brought it to my mils attention and told her she wasnt doing my dd any favors by allowing her to go without naps or weird bedtimes or spoiling bc she had to come home and have normal rules. That seemed to set her straight enough and now were on the same page. Just talk to them and explain the concerns and what a lack of consistency can do to a child.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 8:18 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • I personnally limit my daughters time with her Nana (MIL) but I do it basically because I know that my rules are not enforced there which definately causes problems at home. My DD will be very cranky the next day after being at Nana's but like I said I know the bedtime is not enforced like it is here and she also does to many things in one day such as going to the zoo and The Butterfly house in the same day. If you feel that the rules are being enforced but his behavior is causing problems at home you may want to consider cutting down on the time spend there. If you choose to do this just explain that to your MIL so that she understands that it is nothing that she is doing and not to punish her in any way.
    maddiemygirl

    Answer by maddiemygirl at 8:19 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • I would say that it could be too much time. My oldest brother spent alot of time with my grandparents and eventually one day he didn't want to go back home with our parents. Till this day, he claims that our grandparents raised him. I think he liked all the attention. My parents really had to work with him to get him to move back.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:20 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • I think it's wonderful that you have such a great support system with your son! The grandparents have so much to offer your son, there is such a special bond between child and grandparents. It is normal for your son to get upset when you come pick him up to take him home. Just remind him that he will see his grandparents soon. 

    mommiedear

    Answer by mommiedear at 8:24 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • I didn't want to be away from my son for 2 hours, let alone 2 nights when he was that age.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:29 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • It sounds perfectly normal. My kids 3 and 4 spend alot of time at my mom's house, their there right now and will be again tomorrow night. I appreciate the break and time it gives me with my 9 months old, also not sleeping through the night. It's a big deal to leave and when we're just visiting they want to stay. We lived with my parents for a year and a half when my kids were babies and when my son discovered that one of the storage rooms in the basement used to be his room he's become obsessed with moving in with my parents! lol I don't take any offense to it and trust that he still loves us very much.
    It must be great for him to have some one on one time like that with your in laws especially with a little one at home. Must be really special for him.
    AmandaH321

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 11:38 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

  • My son used to do this with my grandmother keeping him. I didn't mind though because everytime he cried she would say let him stay. I used those nights as my alone time. I didn't mind at all.
    MrsTGray

    Answer by MrsTGray at 11:49 AM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • I used to spend tons of times at my grandma's too. It gave my mom a break and it gave me a diff. lifestyle (at abuelas I had no responsibilities but her house was very on schedule etc.etc.) at our house we had jobs and responsibilities and was much more chaotic and freeflowing. Both me and my brother enjoyed our time in another style of life and as we got older made our choices about how much time to spend there during the weekends.
    I don't see anything wrong with it. but it is normal that he cranks out etc. its kind of like shared parenting -- transitioning is always hard especially when we are 2. (one of the negs. to weigh against the pos)
    MamiJaAyla

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 3:29 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

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