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Will my kids have a say of whom they rather live with? And if so what age can they decide to stay with obe parent or another?

With five kids between the two of us and my husband threatening me hes going to take the kids and kick me out of the house, I wonder if any of my kids will be able to decide for themselves where they want to live.

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tornapartwith5

Asked by tornapartwith5 at 1:03 AM on Jul. 20, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • He can't kick you out of your own home. It's half your's. The kids can decide if they are old enough or mature enough to tell the Court who they want to live with (abt age 12) but he's a jerk for even putting them through that. Why not ask him to work out your differences maturally and leave the kids out of it?
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:08 AM on Jul. 20, 2008

  • Thats just messed up, the only way he can get custody of the kids is if u are an unfit mother for them! And its not right that he keeps threating that, you should sit down and talk to them, and i would say around 16 they should be able to decide, when they are old enough to understand!!! not when they are young, cuz they are too impressionable when they are young and he may talk alot of crap to ur kids behind ur back if things are that messy already!!! its not cool!!!!
    Ms.Beth1214

    Answer by Ms.Beth1214 at 1:14 AM on Jul. 20, 2008

  • Because he is a jerk and I feel almost just leaving and taking the kids that are mine and leave so my kids dont get drawn into the court and be put on the spot and make them make that type of decision. The problem here is that I have an older daughter of mine that i full custody of, Two daughter with my husband 7 and 10 and the two step sons whom ive raised for 11 years and now they are 13 and 15. I dont think i have any legal rights to my stepsons and if they did decide to stay with me if they legally would beable too. then im stuck because the kids the kids would eventually be torn apart. I dint believe mature is in his vocabulary anyway. Hes one on those whom always turn everything around me like he never does anything bad.
    tornapartwith5

    Answer by tornapartwith5 at 1:18 AM on Jul. 20, 2008

  • He is acting so childish at this point. If your relationship is so bad that he is making these sort of comments to you, then just leave and TAKE YOUR CHILDREN WITH YOU! First of all, he is not fit to be a dad saying things like this. Second, he cant take your kids from you. Third, as soon as you are gone, file paperwork for child support. As for your step sons: You probably wont get custody of them. But as you have taken care of them for so many years, you may be able to sue him for half of his scheduled time with them. They are also old enough to pick up the phone and call you... that way if they are in immediate danger, you can go pick them up and take them to safety... I am so sorry that he is such a jack@** to you. You certainly dont deserve to be treated like that. Good luck to you and keep us posted on what happens. We want to be here to support you, he sure isnt doing a good job doing that!
    taracv

    Answer by taracv at 2:49 AM on Jul. 20, 2008

  • Leave and take the kids. If you leave them he can file for immediate temorary custody. Then you are on the uphill side of that battle. He can not stop you from taking the kids. Period. Though unless you file for immediate temorary custody you can't stop him from taking them back.

    The ONLY age a child gets to decide where they live is 18. Most judges will talk to a child over a certain age(check to see what it is in your state) to see how they feel, and the judge MIGHT take that into concideration. But the child never gets to decide. The judge does!
    desert_diva

    Answer by desert_diva at 12:37 PM on Jul. 20, 2008

  • Sorry about the step-kids, but custoday will never happen. By most state's standards it doesn't matter how long you raised them. You have been, and always will be, a 'legal stranger' to them.

    You might be able to get visitation. Some states have amended their laws to include step-parent visitation.

    Don't EVER go pick up those kids if they call you! Sorry, but that is bad, bad advice. You would be concidered guilty of kidnapping. And it sounds like you stubby(stupid hubby) might be the kind of guy who would call the cops and file charges in a heartbeat.
    desert_diva

    Answer by desert_diva at 12:44 PM on Jul. 20, 2008

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