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What do you do when your trying to help a teenagers that's not your child?

Well, I don't want to make this to long but. Last summer my 15 year old cousin was having some problemswith her mom and sisters so she came to live with me. Now, her mom didn't really care because she has too much on her plate. I didn't care at first to take this girl in and help her with the issues she was having. She's also stuggling with her sexuality and that's something that her mom doesn't know how to handle. But now she's trying to tell her that she has to come back home and I really dont have time to deal with her mom(which is my cousin). How can I make this easier on me were I'm still going to be there for he but, if she has to go home then that's what has to happen. I's it right for me not to fight for her to stay with me? Or am I being to selfish and not thinking about how she feels?

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Asked by DenirisS9104 at 12:22 AM on Jan. 24, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (5)
  • You need to let the mother handle this. Tell the teenager that is living with you that this is a safe haven for her but you feel that she needs to work this out with her mom and parents. Let the mom know that she needs to see a family counselor or even the counselor at your church or school to help negotiate some of the problems. HTH

    Answer by bearandtreemom at 12:43 AM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • I wouldn't fight if it were me, but I would let them both know that the girl is welcome at any time. I took in a boy who was 16. I had him for 8 mos. He was abandoned literally. I helped him find extended family and in the end let him know it was his decision whether to go live with them, he was welcome to stay. We still talk 3 yrs later. Let the kid and the mom work it out if it's possible. If it blows up, you'll be there to take her back.

    Answer by shmorris56 at 12:57 AM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • I don't think kids should have to live with anyone they don't want to live with. We don't know what goes on behind closed doors and these kids do. You might be her lifeline to a decent life. Only you can decide what you can put up with but I think it's sad to make a kid go somewhere that she obviously doesn't want to be.

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:56 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • Stay there for support say when you need me I'll be here.The mom is still the mom they need to work things out.Listen to here hug her and let her stay when her and her mother needs time.
    You are doing great to care so much!Bless you!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:43 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • I would think that would depend on why she wanted to stay with you in the first place, and if she is going to a safe and nurturing home. Yes teenagers still need nurturing. I am 42 and still call my Mom if I'm sick , and sometimes my Gram. My niece went through the same thing. My sister-in-law wanted her home. I told her to come get her and we will talk. She never showed up. My niece now has her own home. She is turning 17 in February. It is sad that it happens that way, but it does. She still talks to her mother and she really loves her. She just needed to be in a safe environment.

    Answer by connietrrll at 3:14 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

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