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Please help Also posted in journal ( I need advice,) posted earlier but got locked

A few months ago my husband tore up my bank card because I bought a pizza for me and my girls, who are 3 and 21 months. He buys him stuff and leaves me and my girls high and dry.
So today I call the bank and ordered me a new card, a few hours later he calls and ask me what the hell did I order me a new card for, I told him me and the girls need money at the house also.
I'm a sahm, and he does not give me any money at all, he controls all the money because he is the only one that works, He told me YOU WILL NOT HAVE A NEW CARD AT ALL..
HE works tll 8am and he said we will talk about this when I get home, I told him fine. he has told me to leave over and over, I think if he tells me that in the morning I'm going to take the girls and leave, only thing is I have no money, but a friend that lives in a different state said I could come to her house.
WtF am I supposed to do if I need money.
I feel so alone.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:40 AM on Jan. 24, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (25)
  • Yes thats a red flag for abuse. You do exactly what you said and go to your friends.
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 1:43 AM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • If your name is on the account, go straight to the bank and withdraw the money. Don't wait for him to tell you to leave. He is trying to control you and this will not end well. People who feel the need to have this kind of control are not stable. Get out now.
    Rebecca7708

    Answer by Rebecca7708 at 1:43 AM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • Is your friend willing to give you money to come to her/his state? Or family? Maybe even tell him you have to go grocery shopping or get something fixed on the car..anything really?
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 1:44 AM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • Look into local abuse shelters and programs (the internet is your friend). Can you call your parents?
    FuzNet

    Answer by FuzNet at 1:44 AM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • I agree, take the money and go. Then when you are gone, I would get a job and go back to school. You need to make sure that this will NEVER happen, and that means getting a good paying job so you arent dependent on a man!!
    Mikayla_lynn

    Answer by Mikayla_lynn at 1:47 AM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • move to you your friends. also there are many services out there for women like us. I've had to use them also and it has really helped.
    annimol13

    Answer by annimol13 at 1:48 AM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • Thanks ladies, the sad thing is we are in one state and the bank is in anther, my name is on the account, my friend said she would help me all she can, I just can't take it anymore, he ignores our daughter all he does is play games on the damn computer. I'm just so scared he will get the girls, I have cried about this over and over, I do not want to loose my little girls.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:53 AM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • If your name is on the account then go and withdraw the money you need and leave. Its very late now so I would let him talk in the morning, agree with him do whatever you have to for him to just go to bed get your girls and leave. Yup he sounds very manipulating and controlling. Wonder if he realizes how much money he will pay in child support for two kids.
    mistynights234

    Answer by mistynights234 at 1:56 AM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • Girl dont take his crap. You need to be independant and get a job. Start handling money on your own. I dont think any woman should be treated like that. Hes treating you like shit, and you dont deserve it. If I were you I would pack my shit and leave, and look for a Job!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:14 AM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • Don't worry about him getting custody of your girls. As long as you treat them like a mother should you won't have any problems with that. I hope it all works out for you.
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 2:16 AM on Jan. 24, 2009

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