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I want to have sex with my husband but....

I want to have sex with my husband but, he told me he wounld have sex with me. the last time we has sex was 4 years ago. I think he might be gay or have someone else. do you think I should just go elsewhere and get it?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:05 AM on Jul. 20, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • wow...how does a relashonship like that stay together..wow 4 years i cant even imagine.. in all honesty i think your right...he might either be gay or have someone else (i know thats so not what you wanted to hear, and i r soooo sorry)...but that just doesnt sound healthy...and unless there is somthing super different about your husband compaired to most men.... eeeeerrrmmmm yeah....thats just not like most guys...
    i hope all works out.. i would talk to him.. thats what people keep telling me to do haha so must be what you should do to :)
    Sweet_nothings

    Answer by Sweet_nothings at 2:10 AM on Jul. 20, 2008

  • Wow 4 years??? ANd you haven't discussed and divorced him yet? What is wrong with you? I am sorry but you need to get a swift kick in the butt and get some self esteem. If my husband didn't touch me for a month we would be having some serious talks. I am with you though, he is either sleeping with a mistress or a mister. Men need sex and he is getting it somewhere. I knew a man who felt it was okay to sleep with someone else since he wasn't sleeping with his wife so he didn't feel like he was 2 timing her. Sick!
    StevensWife

    Answer by StevensWife at 2:57 AM on Jul. 20, 2008

  • I couldn't have lasted four days, why would put up with four years!! Whats the point?? Your husband should be someone you can share every sexual fantasy with and work on making your fantasies a reality!! Sounds like he should be in the "friends zone". I can't stand cheating, for him or for you. Are you considering a separation? If not, may I ask why?
    boysNjeeps

    Answer by boysNjeeps at 3:10 AM on Jul. 20, 2008

  • He does have husbandly duties to fulfill or you don't have to remain married to him. You might just ask him if he would prefer you to find a surrogate "him" for sex and see if he realizes that you are serious. So the choices seem to be him giving it up and doing the deed, you finding a lover, you living a sexless life with him or you divorcing him. Maybe he'll come to life if he thinks someone else will be doing his woman!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:18 AM on Jul. 20, 2008

  • 4 years? Something is wrong here if you arent having any intimacy.... I would see if he is having an affair, and just buy a BOB (battery opperated boyfriend). I just dont understand how he can be like this.... he has to be gay or having an affair!
    taracv

    Answer by taracv at 5:54 AM on Jul. 20, 2008

  • How about asking him why. Maybe he has a hormone imbalance, and feels embarrassed about his sex drive... or lack of sex drive. Maybe you should go to the doc together. If he is gay, just get a divorce, no biggie.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:46 AM on Jul. 20, 2008

  • 4 years?!?!? Leave. Somethings not right, and it sounds like you've been more than patient. I'd be gone...unless it was for medical reasons, an inability or something. That's different. You know there are many parts of the body that can deliver pleasure and intimacy, hands, mouth....you get the idea. If this issue has been explored and discussed in the past and it still exists..Bye bye, him and that marriage would be history. Good luck! IMHO
    s.c.a.r.l.e.t.

    Answer by s.c.a.r.l.e.t. at 12:05 PM on Jul. 20, 2008

  • WOW. OK. first did you talk with him about this? Second maybe consider couple consoling...You can not go and accuse your dh of cheating or being gay, without proof. I don't mean go snooping either. You need to talk with him, there might be something else going on that he is ashamed of.
    tsc2007

    Answer by tsc2007 at 1:03 PM on Jul. 20, 2008

  • I say 4 years is a really long time. He has to be doing something on the side. Just confront him and ask why he dosent want to have anything to do with you. Even if he says something you dont want to hear at least youll know.
    tornapartwith5

    Answer by tornapartwith5 at 5:32 PM on Jul. 20, 2008

  • NO- if you're to that point, maybe its time to call it quits
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:47 PM on Jul. 20, 2008

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