Essay Question.

I like it

I am so sorry that the other ladies did not get that this is just yr introduction. But yes for an intro it is very good!

May I ask the typr of essay that you are writing? Descriptive, Narrative..eg

An essay is more than just a paragraph. Do you know how long it needs to be? Just take the subject, write it down, as in my first sentence and then expound on how you will change it. I have just give you an example of one of my pet peeves about others.

example: I want to improve how I relate to people in general. My first step is to really listen to others. I tend to just half hear what is said and if asked to respond, I can't. Therefore I need to give them my whole attention, really listen to what they say and be able to respond appropriately. If I'm asked to give an opinion, I will be truthful and if it's a little less than positive I will find the most positive way of saying it.

i dont understand what you were trying to say in your essay.... it doesnt give a lot of information. the first paragraph has to catch the attention of the reader....

It doesn't really answer the question.
Would you improve your life by getting healthier, going to school, volunteering at homeless shelter....etc. That's the question.