Did this stepmom step out of line?

I think your ex needs to be the one to say that it is no tokay because YOU her mother are the one tht is supposed to teach her that and if you have custody, you can basically demand it not happen. Sorry

One more thing. I forgot, and yes your ex should and needs to support you on this & speak up.

If this woman is just a GF and not a wife then she not a step mother and has no right to teach your daughter anything. Even if she were married to your ex and were in fact a step mother that does not give her the right to go against the rules that you have set for your child. That teaches your daughter that what you say doesn't matter because she can go to her father and his GF and they will let her do the exact opposite. It sounds like the GF is trying to assert her authority and show your daughter, her father and you that she won't be told what she can do in relevance to your child and that is a dangerous road to go down. Put your foot down down or it will cause severe issues later on down the road should your ex choose to further his relationship with this woman. I remember when my father got re-married, my step mother told me that the cloths my mom sent with me were trash and that she would not be seen in public with me

I agree with the other posters. I do however think you need to take it up with your ex and let him handle it. Also point out that since he feels skorts are inappropriate so is makeup at this age.

in those clothes and she bought me all brand new clothes that i was to keep at her home and wear when I went over there. My mother didn't have a lot of money so I got my sisters hand me downs but they weren't trash, just used. My mother was furious when she found out about this and it caused a lot of problems because my step mother was always trying to one up my mom, even when it came to my father paying child support. She tried to get the courts to order my mom to show receipts for what she used the money on cause my step mom thought that my mother was spending the money on herself and it really was none of the woman's business.

I really agree with Coala, just in case she has one of those famous meltdowns that I have seen some pre-teens do. Then at least he will be the bad guy not you!

I'm sure alot of you won't agree with me on this but I'm going to give my opinion. I understand that yes you are her mother and that's stuff you want to teach your daughter. Do you think that maybe GF was trying to find a way to connect and bond with your daughter? Being a stepmom myself I can see the part of GF not wanting your daughter to dislike her and tried to do something to get your daughters approval of her. My oldest stepson was around that age when I started dating his dad so I understand how hard it can be. Like she said to your daughter was that it was pretend makeup, I don't think she was implying that she wear it on a daily basis. Kinda just a for fun thing. Would you be as upset if it would have been your mom or sister or someone else that got that stuff for your daughter? That's just my opinion. Sometimes you don't understand what it's like on the stepmom side unless you've been there.

Things like this should always go through the biomom first. It's a courtesy and respect thing. And as a girlfriend, she isn't really a stepmom yet, she needs to step back and let you and your ex parent your dd. Granted, this really isn't a huge thing compared to some situations, but it still shows that the GF has a lack of respect for you.

OP I agree she was way out of line. She is NOT her Stepmom. Dad needs to address this. I also think you need to address this with your daughter. At 11 I was well aware that I wasn't allowed to wear anything but pale piunk lip gloss. Unless I miss my guess I'm betting your daughter knew you would NOT be pleased.