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2 Bumps

Was this too much? Was I too hard on her??

My DD is over 4 and has been going through this super testy phase recently. Like everyday for the las 3 years of her life before dinner is time for the kids to clean the living room up. Put away toys, use the sweeper, put the pillows and such back away... That kind of stuff. WE recently she has been pulling this "I'm too tired" thing then after sitting in time out she wil do it but whine the whole time. Well tonight I warned her I was over the whining and asked her is she was going to clean up the living room and eat hamburgers with the family and get dessert or eat a cheese sandwich in her room - get no dessert and loose her favorite toys- since she can't seem to clean anything up. She chose her room and when I took away her doll house she said she didn't care and I could take all of them... so I did. Every toy. I tried to leave the stuffed monkey she sleeps with but she told me to take that too. So I did. So she ate a boring dinner alone and went straight to bed in an empty room... What do you think?? I just don't think she thoguht I was serious. But man, I am over it.

* I wanted to add that other than an initial "You hurt my feelings!!!"  She has not said one word.  Not evena wimper from her.  Seh is unphased I guess.  ::sigh:: 

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:31 PM on Apr. 10, 2012 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (18)
  • I would have done the same thing and I would keep them for the rest of the week. Now not only is she not doing chores, but she is getting a very bad attitude with you, and I don't do the whole attitude thing.

    Answer by AF4life at 6:35 PM on Apr. 10, 2012

  • Even though she seems fine I feel bad...

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:38 PM on Apr. 10, 2012

  • I know, I sometimes feel bad for DD, but I know it is better to teach her lessons now.

    Answer by AF4life at 6:41 PM on Apr. 10, 2012

  • Do it this way. Tell her like always to go clean. If she refuses. Make her come sit down at the table. But she does not get anything to eat. Make her sit their tell every one else is done. Then tell her to go clean . If she refuses. Make her. Go with her. If she still refuses. Make her go to bed, right then and their. With out dinner. Take all her toys away tell the next dinner. Then throw them all over the living room like she does them. And tell her to go clean them up. Do that right before dinner. She will clean it or starve tell breakfast again. If you stick to your guns and do not cave in she will do as you say.

    Answer by louise2 at 6:43 PM on Apr. 10, 2012

  • It seems like you let the whining carry on, then lost your temper over it?

    For me, I never tolerate the first whine. At the same time, most all of DD's "punishment" is sitting on my lap and telling me what is going on. Why is she struggling to obey. It always resolves the matter with no yelling, no anger, and no one feeling bad.

    Answer by Mom2Just1Kiddo at 6:52 PM on Apr. 10, 2012

  • bad advice sweetie.
    food as a reward/ punishment leads to eating disorders.

    Answer by feralxat at 6:52 PM on Apr. 10, 2012

  • No I did not loose my temper. I told her as soon as she walked in the door form playing outside she had a choice to make because I was not dealing with her attitude again today.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:56 PM on Apr. 10, 2012

  • I agree with feralxat, I would never make meals contingent on behavior. Bad idea.

    So have you visited with her calmly, during a different time of day, as to why she is struggling to obey the evening cleaning routine? What did she say?

    Answer by Mom2Just1Kiddo at 7:04 PM on Apr. 10, 2012

  • Mostly all I get is "Because I just don't want to." and i's kinda funny-but not- because she says it in this totally sad voice like she really wishes she did want to. lol.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:07 PM on Apr. 10, 2012

  • Wow, she's only four!! Your in for a ride.:) I say go with your gut. Your her mother and you know what works. You did what you said you were going to do and hopefully she will shape up. I know it makes you feel horrible especially after when you see she has not caved in and just did what you asked. That's why being a parent is not always fun. Hang in there!! Hugs.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:09 PM on Apr. 10, 2012

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