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My teen is in residental treatment

This year I was overdosed in hospital and awoke on life support and in ICU. My 15 year old went on a spree. He picked up 3 charges, jay walking, fighting and possession of weed. Then he stole the family car. I called the police and with all these charges they put him in detention. The out come is he is in residental and may well be there for a minium of 5 months. I am lost it was against my wishes he go into treatment and wanted family counseling. I miss my boy so much I feel empty. I lost control of him and that makes me feel empty. I am still unwell therefore unable to return to my career as a LSS for the develpmentally disabled. I had a seizure at work New Years day and am on administrative leave until the medical jury comes in. I need support and I hurt so bad. I have lost my life as I knew it. I also was a host home provider and my contract was cancelled when my client complained of hearing me crying. Please help me.


Asked by rosetoes at 2:39 PM on Jan. 24, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 18 (5,572 Credits)
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Answers (6)
  • From experience, residential treatments are a waste... i was in a RTF called PCV [ pres. child. village. ] It was the WORST experience of my life, even though i put myself there by my actions and getting in trouble, it made me worse than going in there.... they also told me i would be there min. of 5 months... i was there a yr in a half.... my dad passed two days after i got there and still had to stay there for a year an a half.....i eventually got sick of it and awalled from there [ ran from it ] and lived on the st for 2 weeks.... i think RTFs are a waste....IMO.... but i guess you get out of them what you put in.... but honestly what i saw there and went through was just like being home.... good luck.

    Answer by kwiseman19 at 11:28 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • Sorry to hear of your pain from your medical problems and the emotional loss you are feeling.

    I can relate to what it's like to have a son in trouble and have to see some pretty harsh discipline --but, be thankful he is getting the needed help where he is safe, supervised and counseled. I always think what would happen if they did these things when they are adults- then what? How do we help them then? So, as painful as it is now, just keep telling yourself it is for his own good and every Mom wants their child to be safe and to get back on the positive track of life.

    So, keep your head up and message me if you want to talk. I'm here and I know the empty feeling that comes upon us. But it passes and our kids will get through the tough stuff as long as we are by their side with support and love.

    So, please take care of yourself and I wish you the best --

    Answer by Squirrel1001 at 4:16 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • Allow your son to get help at the residential center while you are nursing yourself back to health. Then you can do counseling together. You need to be strong and healthy to address the issues that he is going through. Teens (well at least mine) do things in weird ways to express what they are going through. Most now act out because its easy for them to do. As teens they are faced with real life situations and they dont know how to handle them. All you can do is do your best and pray. Ive went through what youre going through and would be glad to talk.

    Answer by VaDivaMom at 5:46 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • PS - u didnt lose control of him... he lost control of himself.... keep ur head up and hang in there... just keep in contact with ur son and visit as much as you can [ put ur health first though cause if you dont than you wont be much for your son ya kno ] but just be involved and show you care.... he is lucky to have a mom like you because some women use this kinda situation as a "vacation" from their kid.... like a relief they dont have to deal with them...... ya kno.

    Answer by kwiseman19 at 11:33 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • What is residential? Like juvie? Never heard of it. I have a son having issues, and often blame myself, don't blame yourself it will eat you up. They are the ones making stupid choices..... not us. Alls we did was love them....too much maybe but thats better than the opposite.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:01 AM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • I feel ya. My DS is in trouble at school all the time and has been arrested 4 times in a little over a year for behavior at school. Mostly for damaging property, but they arrested him instead of making him pay restitution.This last time I finally moved school placements for him and he said he has wanted to move for awhile but thought I would get mad so he did what he knew would get him moved, be bad. The DA is ready to send him to a group home for a weekend because she doesnt know how else to reach him. I am petrified that this may happen but also part of me thinks it may be good for him and like a pp said, better now when he is a juvenile that when he is an adult.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:43 PM on Jan. 25, 2009