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Do i ? Don't i ?

Me and my husband have always wanted to adopt but maybe when our children were older but we could'nt help but look, and we fell in love with a boy, aged 8 & we were thinking of possibly adopting.

I have'nt told anyone but we met him 3 months ago and now he is allowed to come over to our's and he said he would love to live here and have me and Brian as his new parents, i feel so bad for his and i would love to give him a home and i spoke to his social worker and they said if we did want to then it would take about 4-8 months, but we don't want to wait. Of course i know they have to run all the procedures and we are both physically and mentally able to support him.

 
Mummytomore

Asked by Mummytomore at 3:21 PM on Jan. 24, 2009 in Adoption

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Answers (8)
  • its as simple as this: no one can make the decison for you... you can get all the advice in the world.. but the chocie is yours ... listen to your heart not your head and it will give the answer.. trust your heart and your gut eveytime and you wont go wrong..he sound like a great little boy btw.. it just sounds liekyour thi nking to much ( i do that to) like i said stop thinking and follow your heart andif you can afford it why not?
    JrsMommy07

    Answer by JrsMommy07 at 3:31 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • Continued..... He gets along with the boys like they were his brothers and the boys have even started saying they would love it if Jaden would become they're new brother.But im scared i would not be able to cope when he is older because, what if he wants to find his birthparents,
    because i have learnt about his background and his father died in a hit and run and his mother hated children and never wanted a child and when she gave him up told them to make sure she never sees him again.
    After hearing that story i dicided i would tell him he was my child and always will be no matter what happens and he even looks like the boys so no one would think any different, im just scared of what the future will bring. Any of you got any advice or infrmation for me?
    Mummytomore

    Answer by Mummytomore at 3:22 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • Apparently all i needed was your great advice, and I'm making the call to tell them i would like to adopt Jaden :D. He is a great little boy, and my hubby really would like to adopt him he just wanted my approvalbecause i am the one who needs to cope at home. So within a year we will have welcomed Jaden to the family if everything goes well. Just wondering because i already have 5 boys do YOU think it would be to many?

    Mummytomore

    Answer by Mummytomore at 3:39 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • Before you do adopt this boy, and I think it would be a great thing to do, read some books about adoptee feelings toward their birth families. The best thing an adoptive parent can do if their adopted child wants to find his birth family is support him in that search. Search and reunion almost always streanthens the bond between the adoptee and his parents, but only if they are supportive. Yes he may get rejected again, but that's better than not knowing. Also collect whatever information you can about his birth father.

    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 3:47 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • I already know everything about his birthparents, you see his father died when he was 1 and his mother only had kept him because his father had wanted him, his father seemed like a nice man but got involved in dangerous stuff and after that his mother could'nt cope so the story goes. His mother was said to have gone to live with family and the agency has no record to where. I hope that he does'nt want to but yes i will support him. And i think i have read as much as i can lol.
    Thank You.

    Mummytomore

    Answer by Mummytomore at 3:54 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • You can never read too much. And just because "the story goes" that his mom didnt want him dont be so sure about that unless you hear it from her own mouth.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:52 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • I agree withthe poster above. My husband was a "cps" case and adopted as a toddler and was told such things. We won't believe any of it until he reunites with his birthfamily.
    babycakes254

    Answer by babycakes254 at 7:44 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • It sounds like he's meant to be yours.
    robyn976

    Answer by robyn976 at 12:42 AM on Jan. 25, 2009

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