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Do You Agree With This Story About Adoptees Knowing Their Birthparents?

This is the link to a short news story about a study of Adoptees knowing their Birthparents. What do you think about it?


Asked by Anonymous at 5:20 PM on Jan. 24, 2009 in Adoption

This question is closed.
Answers (24)
  • Don't forget that this video and the study was about adult adoptees seeking. They are not the helpless adoptee who had decisions made for them all those years ago. I'm not sure what all the fuss is about - other than insecurities on all sides. It's about having the same rights as other adults - simple. There are no guarantees about who you will find at reunion. This life is full of a variety of people, their personalities, their maturity, their abliity to connect. As adults the "right" to connect with whomever we want to should be a non-issue. This is supposedly the land of the free. Why are adoptees held as forever children? It's just beyond comprehension that these myths, these fabricated needs for protection continue on and on. The great foundation of "american family" - huh? Yeah, a pretty narrow definition. And for the record, I have a GREAT adoptive family, love them like crazy.

    Answer by PortAngeles1969 at 2:39 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • I know my Birth Mom. My Birth Dad died when I was 12 and I never got to meet him. Sometimes I wish I didn't know her. We don't have the best relationship. We reunited when I was pregnant with my first son. Everything was great until he was born. She doesn't like sharing me with my own chidlren. She is selfish and expects me to drop everything to go and see her. She doesn't get why I cannot do that. She never calls, like on my Birthday this past Christmas, but yet gets all upset if I don't call her on hers. In her head I am still her 5 year old daughter...she doesn't know how to deal with anything. She refuses to go and get help and calls herself a victim although I was the victim. Ugh, the woman makes me so mad. We've known each other for 4 1/2 years now and sometimes I wish we never met again, except I met all the rest of my Birth Family through her...that's the only good out of it.

    Answer by boizmom at 5:30 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • As someone that waited on her biological father everyday while in the process of fighting the courts for those record only to find out who he was 6 days after his death, I think those records should be open to the children. If for no other reason than medical... Now, in my case my father didn't want to give me up, my mother forced him to with a PFA resulting from false charges... I was only adopted by one parent, my mother is my real mother, unfortunately... As the child I have a right to know who my parents are. They brought me in to this world... And I should have the right to at least know who they are...

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 5:33 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • On the other side of this the converse should also be open... The records of who adopted their child should be open to the parents from the time that child is 16 or if nothing else from the time they are 18...

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 5:34 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • why should the birth parents need to know a thing about the adoptive parents. they gave up their child and yes the children shoulod have access to those records for medicals reasons but the parents have no reason to know anything unless the child wants them to.

    Answer by Lyndall at 5:44 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • Ouch Lyndall... Where is the harm in open records? If one adoptee doesn't wish to pursue their birth family, then so be it... but what about the thousands who do?

    Answer by lillie023 at 5:58 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • No one who isn't a part of the adoption triad should really even have an oppinon about this matter. How the hell would you know about anything that affects the aparents, the birth parents, and especially the adoptee.

    Shame on you for being closed minded.

    Answer by rainfalls at 6:39 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • No more secrets- no more Lies- we WANT our family ties!

    open records NOW

    Answer by adopteeme at 7:14 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • I agree 100% - it is long past time to open all records for every adoptee.
    It is up to them and no one else if they do or don't want to meet their bparents and NOBODY has the right to keep that option from them by holding their own personal records under lock and key.
    I still struggle why this is even still a debate in any area of society. Records should be open and there is not one single reason to keep them closed.

    Answer by casjoh at 7:36 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • I can only speak for my dh who was adopted. He finally met his birth mother when he was in his early thirties ( he was two when adopted). She turned out to be a nightmare. She was offended that my dh would only call her by her first name and not "mom". When he made it clear that his adopted mother was the only woman he would call mom, she dropped off the face of the earth!

    Answer by hibicent at 10:41 PM on Jan. 24, 2009