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Is there an up-side?

If you have ever separated from SO, for any length of time, was there an up-side to it? Did things improve or did they get worse? Did you feel liberated or did you feel empty/lonely?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:00 PM on Jan. 24, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • When I seperated from my exhusband, I felt completely freed. I didn't have to put up with his crap anymore, and I was building a new life for myself and my kids.

    Nobody to answer to but me, and I knew that my happiness depended on that. I knew it was time for me to leave my marriage. I left with the intent not to come back, though, so that may be different from you.

    You don't put your life on hold for anyone EVER, and don't let someone else determine your happiness.
    .Peaches.

    Answer by .Peaches. at 7:02 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • At FIRST I felt free and loved it. But that didn't last forever and once I began to make a different decision about where I wanted to be (with my husband) I began to feel lonely and unhappy. Ours could have gotten worse, but just like you work in a marriage, you work in a separation. You have to know your boundaries too...no cheating during this time. I think how you feel depends on why you separated and if you really want work things out.
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 7:13 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • And the upside? We love each other now more than before because we know what its like to lose each other. I wish we didn't have to go through that, but its the only way we knew how to deal at that time.
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 7:15 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • All the separations I've experienced lead to being more distanced and finally breaking apart all together. Sad, but it happens. The only one that had an up side was when I left an abusive relationship. That was a good thing.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:45 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • I would really enjoy all the male attention and go for it i. But don't make him find out. If you get back you do not want to flaunt it. But dang it, enjoy all those cuties.............................................
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:25 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • After two years of marriage my husband and I split. We were apart long enough to sign divorce papers (about 6 months) immediatly got back together, and have been faithfully ever since. The divorce was 9 years ago. Losing each other made us realize just how much we needed each other. Neither one of us ever want to go threw that again. Sometimes seperation is the best thing that can happen to a couple.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:05 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • My DH and I separated twice actually the first time was his choice, my son is from a previous marriage and about 1.5 years into our relationship (so 1995) my DH got "spooked about being a grown up"-he was 30! And that lasted for about 2 months he realized that he was really ready to settle down and his commitment ot us was better after. The second time was a year after his mom passed away,in 2001 he was very depressed and refused to acknowledge it or get any help so I got sick of going sown with him and we separated and lived apart for 8 months but about a month into it he got counseling and we started working on our relationship the dating again was good, we realized we had both been taking the other for granted and it did help us alot. We were finally married in 2002 so neither was a marriage separation, but we always considered it just a piece of paper and that our living together was "close enough"
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 9:08 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

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