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Are you looking for a baby to adopt?

Do you think this is the place to find one? Do you think it's appropriate to proposition someone who is NOT asking for or seeking PAP's? Why do you think women post anon now, it's because women that don't get notes left on their chatterbox for everyone to see and inidated with messages. I just don't see how it is appropriate to approach someone who is OBVIOUSLY not even certain about adoption. That just seems incredibly tasteless to me.


Asked by summerleigh at 7:25 PM on Jan. 24, 2009 in Adoption

Level 5 (61 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • I think unless the mother is sure she wants to do adoption or talks to you first it's simply not appropriate to solicit her for her child.

    Answer by Jill42721 at 1:12 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • Contact cafemom admins and see if they can do something. Maybe ban soliciting on the answers part. Complaining really won't do much. Maybe get everyone who feels the same to write them to express their concerns on jumping on expectant moms for their kids. I know alot of adoption boards have a ban on soliciting.

    Answer by babycakes254 at 7:38 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • I totally agree with you! I dont think its appropriate to approach someone about adoption if they are not seeking PAP's. I mean, if someone is actively looking then yes. I think its appropriate to message them if you are interested. I was in a teen moms group. and there was a woman that joined and started advertising that she is looking to adopt and was harassing the members asking if they were looking to put their babies up for adoption. It was absolutely the most unclassy thing I've ever seen.

    Answer by ChaoticSoul at 7:39 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • It seems there is one mom in particular that keeps soliciting for a little baby girl because she already has two boys. That imho is not the right reason to want another baby whether biological or adopted.

    Answer by miriamz at 7:47 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • "It seems there is one mom in particular that keeps soliciting for a little baby girl"

    I know the ONE you're talking about and there are others too and not just here but other places where expecting moms were seeking advice. It's just gotten ridiculous.

    Answer by summerleigh at 8:02 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • I think everyone on here knows who that mom is.

    Answer by miriamz at 8:11 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • This IS NOT a shopping center!!! You do not "add to cart". This makes me so angry. They prowl and trick these girls. They are leaches. They smell the baby and zoom in like wolves..disgusting. I have met some wonder amoms that have asked me to talk to the potential birthmom. So, for all you paps out there, be kind, and try that. My respect for those that really care is enormous.These young girls need info, what to ask for, how they may feel. We can do that. Please don't hunt them down. Is that how you want to tell your baby, you found her/him? A relationship built on love, respect and kindness will last a lifetime....Sorry for the rant.

    Answer by stillamom1213 at 6:56 AM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • Some people can't have children and they really want them (which is really sad) so they might be desperate and will grab every opportunity to get one. Stop putting these people down. It seems like this website is unsympathetic towards people who are desperate to adopt. Many of these people do the foster care/adopt program, which can be very heartbreaking. These people grow to love these children and become very attached to them and then have them taken away. Many people are lead to believe that their foster child has a good chance of becoming up for adoption, which makes it even more heart breaking when their foster baby is taken away. If these pregnant teenagers are on her talking about putting their baby up for adoption, of course they are going to grab the opportunity.

    Answer by staceynoel at 10:57 AM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • staceynoel - I don't know how or if you are familiar with adoption, but I understand that there are women who desperately want a baby and I am not putting them down. I just don't think it is the appropriate time or place to ask someone to consider you for adopting their baby when the expectant mom is saying that she is scared and uncertain and doesn't know what to do and it's not always a teenager. They are looking for support and answers if they were looking for PAP's or an agency that would be different. When someone is facing an unplanned pregnancy they are scared and vulnerable is that the opportunity they should be grabbing at?

    Answer by summerleigh at 11:31 AM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • As a hopeful potential adoptive mother, I think if an expectant mother is on an adoption-related board and says she is not sure but is considering adoption, then it is OK for PAPs to contact her and introduce themselves. BUT, it does seem a little weird to keep bugging the expectant mother or to harrass women who are in their "own", non-adoption-related groups. It seems a bit tasteless to me that if a woman posts with "uh-oh, didn't mean to get pregnant but I am" to respond with "Oo, can I have it?"

    Answer by KateKevinAdopt at 11:57 AM on Jan. 25, 2009