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how do i get my 3 year old daughter to clean her room and stop talking back to me and my husband and she hits her one year old brother how do i stop that????

my 3 year old daughter talks back to me and my husband, she wont clean her room and she hits her 1 year old brother.....help??

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littlefield.ash

Asked by littlefield.ash at 7:42 PM on Jan. 24, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Boundaries should have been in place long ago. You have a lot of catching up to do. Tell her..'from now on if you do this...this is what will happen'...then you have to stick to it, consistantly..every time. You and Dad. The minute one of you gives in...she knows she has control.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 8:13 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • What do you mean by cleaning her room? She is just 3. That is still your job hun. The talking back and smacking however needs to be nipped in the bud. Time outs, take away toys putting her in her bed as a punishment and if all elce fails a swat on the behind works wonders.
    BooBear666

    Answer by BooBear666 at 8:14 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • To the OP..at three mine were all capable and expected to help pick up toys and clean up their rooms. It is NOT just your job. It is your job to teach them. You're on the right track for understanding you have an issue with her.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 8:25 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • at 3 all of mine were capable and did clean their own rooms, they also cant do it alone at 3 you cannot say go clean your room and expect it to get done, you have to stand by and give direction, typically i stood in the hall since all 3 kids rooms are right next to each other and i say please pick up all the dolls and put them in your bin, then i have her pick up crayons etc. be specific about what to pick up and where to put it. It is not your job to clean her room but it is your job to teach and supervise.

    3_ring_circus_

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 9:04 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • cont'd

    As far as hitting that is never okay but i haent had this happen, my kids have all been fairly nice to each other more yellign at each other then anything. as far as talking back welcome to raising a girl lol, they love to test the waters 3 was a tough year for us but we stood our ground and made sure each time she understood it was not okay to speak like that to us, time outs worked really well another thing we tried was the sticker system, in the morning i gave my daughter a sticker each time she was rude or mouthy i took it away and she had to earn it back with good manners, if at dinner time she still had her sticker we put the sticker on a reward chart after a week of good behavior we would reward her, it can be little thngs like having a tea party, painting her nails, etc.
    3_ring_circus_

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 9:04 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • To be able to raise children properly, you must first understand the stages of their growth and development. Go to your local library and check out some books on early childhood growth and development. Three year olds can pick up and put away their toys with your help. Talking back and hitting can be corrected by first understanding what is precipitating the behavior. Is she feeling jealous of the one year old getting attention? What usually happens before she hits the baby? What are the conditions when she is talking back to you and what are the consequences? Make sure to praise good behavior often. Praise her for helping with the baby and being the big girl. She can learn that good behavior gets good things and bad behavior doesn't get reinforced. Ignore the bad behavior as much as possible so she sees that the attention comes from being good. Tell her what you want her to do instead of what not to do.
    Lisahi

    Answer by Lisahi at 1:02 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • Well you got some pretty good advice from the moms above use it. It sounds like you never put into practice the things she is not doing now. Does she see you make your bed and clean the house? Has she seen you spank your other child? she is probley just acting out what she see's that's what kids do. At 3 she can help you clean up her room. My girls have to have rooms cleaned up before bed and beds made before they leave there room in the morning. Even my 3 year old can follow directions she may fight me the first few times but with a stern commanding low tone in your voice they will obey. you just need to show her who is boss. HAPPY PARENTING
    greenfrogmom

    Answer by greenfrogmom at 1:47 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • I strongly disagree with Boobear... sorry, it is NOT the parent's job to pick up the room if the child is able to do it. My daughter is three, and she knows how to pick up toys, and put them away, so sheknows how to pick up the toys on her floor in her room, and she does do it. My son is nearly 2, and he can pick up toys too. Waiting till they are five is rediculous!

    Anyhow I agreed with Lisahi...lots of praise when she does good, and let her know what your expectations are. She can do it... and only you know what' she's capable of... And as far as back talking, she needs toknow there's a consequence if she talks that way, and let her know that's never acceptable. My duaghter does it too, but I have to be consistent, and hope that some day, she will stop... LOL
    PA_mountainmama

    Answer by PA_mountainmama at 6:04 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • ps... ridiculous... I pronounce it differently. lol
    PA_mountainmama

    Answer by PA_mountainmama at 3:10 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

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