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HELP with any eight year old!

My SOs daughter can be a sweet girl but shes rude, greedy, selfish, mean, very lazy, and never listens. This girl cant do nothing for herself, and I mean nothing!! What are you're eight yr olds like? DO they have chores? Can they pick up after themselves?? Get Ketchup out of the fridge if they want some with dinner??? My SOs daughter can do none of this!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:32 PM on Jan. 24, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (14)
  • It doesn't sound like she CAN'T do it...it sounds like she has parents that do everything for her, so she's doesn't feel the need to and doesn't WANT to.

    My girls are still toddlers, but when I was eigtht, I babysat for extra $$, watched my younger sister afterschool, had chores everyday, cleaned my room and made up my bed, was responsible for getting my school clothes out the night before, and was still expected to make A's in school. I was very responsible for my age.
    .Peaches.

    Answer by .Peaches. at 8:36 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • Children have to be taught how to do things for themselves. If she has not been lovingly taught, she cannot be expected to just know how to do anything. Children best learn when they are asked to help with a chore and are shown what to do and how to do it. That's the job of the parent. At eight years old, there are very few things that she should be expected to do all by herself. The fact that she is expected to do what she doesn't know how to do is very likely a part of the reason why she is so poorly behaved. Children are not miniature adults. They should not be expected to act as such.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:37 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • It sounds like you are ENABLING this girl! If she has arms and legs she can get ketchup out of the fridge herself...if she REALLY wants it!

    She knows she can get away with things...know how to push buttons, so she does, and you comply. If you want to change the behavior start making her do things, or she won't have it!

    If you don't correct this behavior now, it's going to get MUCH worse once she hits the teen years!

    For ever bad behavior she displays, you take something away from her that she likes. When she has nothing to play with, no TV to watch, no favorite clothes to wear...she'll start paying attention! Oh, and to get back the things she lost...she should have to demonstrate at least 3 times consecutive positive behaviors.

    If after getting a preferred item back, she should lose it again, if she goes back to her negative ways.
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 8:39 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • Sounds like my 11 year old. Lol shes just a kid.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:41 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • So if this was Your actual daughter and ure SO daughter, would You be saying all this?? Sounds like a typical spoiled kid....... U said some harsh things about a 8 year old.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:43 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • It sounds like maybe her parents do everything for her, so she hasn't bothered to do it for herself. I sometimes find myself shocked when my 7 or 5 yr old will do something, I'll be like "oh, wow, he IS old enough to do that himself now, isn't he?" It may be that her parents (or even just one of them) still thinks of her as a baby that they must do everything for (I find myself doing it sometimes, and have to force myself to stop), and this has ended up being the result. I'd start with just telling her to do some things herself. "Can I have some ketchup with my hot dog?" "It's on the 2nd shelf of the fridge door. Go get some and put it back when you're done." Work up to bigger things, like chores. Get her doing small things and then work on specific chores. Mention to her parent(s) how well she does, to kind of hint to them that they need to let her grow up.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 8:45 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • Her father calls her lazy, greedy, rude, and selfish to her and she just laughs like its a complement, Is she was mine, she wouldnt be spoiled like she is. I guess maybe b/c I grew up in a large family and she was an only child until we came around. She is sweet and nice and when you dont give her what she wants shes completely different. Yet her father allows it
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:48 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • If she is allowed to do these things, then she will. She's manipulating you guys because its working.
    LovinMyMikayla

    Answer by LovinMyMikayla at 9:26 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • YOU ARE ENABLING HER TO DO THESE THINGS...NO MATTER HOW HARD IT IS STOP!!!!! IF YOU DON'T STOP NOW YOU WILL HAVE HELL TO PAY IN A FEW YEARS DOWN THE ROAD....CAN YOU IMAGINE HER AS A TEENAGER ACTING LIKE THIS, TAKE IT FROM ME I AM ON MY 8TH TEENAGER AND IF YOU DON'T STOP THINGS WHEN THEY ARE YOUNG IT ONLY GETS WORSE!!!!!
    40yrmom

    Answer by 40yrmom at 10:02 AM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • Bless your heart 40yr old!!! 8th teenager...omg! :)


    As for the OP...My girls are 7 & 8.  They can fix their own sandwiches, waffles, and bowls of cereal.  They hang up their clothes, clean their own rooms, make their own beds, and clear their places after dinner.  Of course if I don't point these hings out the plates stay on the table and the clothes stay stacked on the gate and the rooms would NEVER get cleaned!  She perfectly capable...its just a matter of ya'll not catering (I know it's probably not you...sorry!). 


     But I would NOT bring this up with her BM or the daughter.  You need to talk to your SO only!

    momof030404

    Answer by momof030404 at 11:02 AM on Jan. 25, 2009

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