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Husband talked to another women about sexual fantasys

I've had issues in the past with him on the computer before. This time I stumbled on an e-mail on his fubar account that I didn't think I had access to. So I started to talk to this girl and she said she missed talking to him and wish she could see him again, told "him" he was sweet and next time will go all the way next time. I also got her to give her number so I could see if he was talking to her over the phone and there was a call and a bunch of texts. all are at 2 and 3 in the am while I am asleep in bed. I confronted him and he swears he did nothing wrong. He said she lied and is crazy but I just can't believe him. I would leave him but my family lives in another state and he will file kidnapping charges against me (I called the PD and they said the same thing). I'm at a loss here. I don't know what else to do besides move in to the guest room and wait till we hopefully get orders back to my home state.

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:49 PM on Jan. 24, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Leave him anyway and file for divorce. You can't get arrested for taking your children to an apartment in the same city you're in. He can't have you arrested but he can make sure you stay in the state you are in. I wouldn't stay with a man that doesn't treat me like the queen I deserve to be treated like. If my husband ever cheated on me, he'd be out on his butt so fast his head would spin.

    Answer by feesharose at 8:55 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • Get counseling before you do anything. Maybe the marriage can be saved. He may have been just intrigued and seeing what would happen, childish, immature, foolish, though that is. If he'll do marriage counseling with you that would be a good sign.

    Answer by Bmat at 8:59 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • Men will say anything to get you to believe him. Just the fact that he threatened to have you arrested for possibly moving back to your parent's is evidence enough that he did something wrong. When men are cornered and know they are guilty they get extremely defensive and start attacking back. It's animal instict.. take the advice of the woman above me... move into an apartment.

    Answer by alinker at 9:01 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • if he said that the girl is crazy what he really means is he did it . he is just playing on your hopes that this is just some misunderstanding. he is a dog and will never change dont do this to yourself or your children. beat him at his own game. Go to DSS get help tell them that things are not healthy at home for you or the children and you want out.They will get you a place in 1 week and make him pay for it. Then follow up with court and get the judgement to leave the state. good luck and remember you are worth more than that and you deserve happiness. GOOD LUCK.

    Answer by Alex1084 at 9:07 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • Don't put up with that. Its not going to be an easy thing, but you need to leave. You can do it... take the advice of these women. There are ways out, you can get help and you DO deserve better. And whatever evidence you have gotten together...keep safe. You'll need it in court.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:35 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • she would have no reason to lie if she thought she was talking to him! what state are you in because here (fl) parents cant get charged with kidnapping unless there is a court order they are breaking what u need to do is tell you and kiddo are taking vacay to see ur family while u think about this for a week and when u get to ur parents go to the court in that state and file custody papers on state cant over ride where it is started you desevre better girl so does ur kids

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 10:09 PM on Jan. 24, 2009

  • I agree with that idea. Tell him you're going on vacation. He's lying to you. There is a way to save the marriage, but he needs to be sorry for what he did and if he's still trying to cover it up then obviously he's not in the least bit sorry.

    Answer by bschrantz at 3:19 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

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