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What do you think? Are my parents being used?

My cousin and her husband don't live together anymore, they have different partners and stuff but are not divorce. Well her husband has been living at MY parents house now for 2 yrs! He tells my dad sorry I just can't afford rent or certain bills and it's 200 a month for rent. He doesn't buy food, make dinner, clean, or clean his bedding and sheets! He is a grown man! And he works out, lifts weights and comes back to talk on the phone, play on the lap top after work. He works he makes like 12 an hr and works full time and over time! So you tell me can the guy afford his own living? I say yes he can if he tried! Well about 4 yrs ago my dad co-signed for a new car for him and it's ran down now and my dad said "Look My credit score is down you need to pay off the car and you can live here rent free! But who knows if he will pay it off! Not MY business but I am Getting sick of hearing it from My parents all the time! His girls come to visit all the time and stay like 4 days! That's hard on my parents! What advice should I give them?

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:38 PM on Apr. 15, 2012 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • I think he is selfish and rude, he told me I will be back at 12 am when I spent the night, keep in mind I am 4 months pregnnat, and have 2 toddlers we slept on the floor, he never came home until 1 pm the next day :( It was like he made me think he was coming home so I wouldn't sleep in the guest room. He dosn't pay rent he can stop crying! Anyway... I think it's sad. And he uses their detergent and everything! Seriously? And my brother is 21 lives there rent free, no chores, no food, he dosn't help or buy or cook! he works and is trying to get into the fire department and police acaemy but I feel he should pay rent! But my parents see it differently since he is doing what he needs! So I suppose that's good! But I would feel used up too if I were my parents! My parents both work their butts off for what they have!!! LOts of over time and hrs in to support our HUGE family that should be taken care of by now!

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:43 PM on Apr. 15, 2012

  • They should kick him out. They're not a charity house, nor a homeless shelter, nor a flop house...GTFO. There are very few excuses I will buy for an adult person loafing off someone else...and those are illness or severe disability...not grown men being irresponsible.

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 1:45 PM on Apr. 15, 2012

  • 12 an hour on full time...where can you live on that?

    This sounds like none of your business.

    Answer by FreeForAll at 1:45 PM on Apr. 15, 2012

  • Advice...they need to kick him out.

    Answer by meooma at 1:46 PM on Apr. 15, 2012

  • Yes, your parents are being used, but it is not your place to decided what they should or should not do for this guy,, perhaps you could talk to the cousin in law yourself, and tell him that you are concerned for his future,, but your parents are adults, and this is not your fight to have for them.

    Answer by kimigogo at 1:46 PM on Apr. 15, 2012

  • If it bothers your parents they would give him x number of days to move out and then contact the authorities and have him removed.

    they haven't done that. they have complained to you.
    if you do not want to hear it anymore you could tell them so. and then proceed to change the subject when they start in.

    his paying rent isn't up to you- it's for your parents to deal with- let it go

    Answer by feralxat at 1:48 PM on Apr. 15, 2012

  • Yes they are but given that they are grown themselves, if that is what they want then that's their choice. However, if they don't like it and are complaining then they need to kick the cousin's husband out. My 25, 21 and 20yo sons live here and they all pay $200 a month (for food and utilities) to live here AND they pay their own bills (cell phone, car payments for 2 & car insurance for all 3). They all work AND go to college, do their own laundry, keep their own rooms clean, help with dishes & letting the dogs out, etc.. We personally don't believe in free rides...helping, yes; free rides, no.

    Answer by tracylynnr67 at 1:57 PM on Apr. 15, 2012

  • Kick his ass out!

    Answer by onelove1982 at 2:02 PM on Apr. 15, 2012

  • FreeForAll...if someone were to work 40 hours at $12 an hour and work over time they could make it.Heck...$12 an hour without over time would be doable. For a 1 bedroom place with water, trash and sewer included you'd pay about $500 a month plus another $200 you'd have utilities covered BUT if you could find a room mate you could get a 2 bedroom place for $600-$700 a month and 1/2 the bills so for rent & utilities you'd pay around $550 for everything. That would leave about $900 for groceries (for 1 person), car insurance, cell phone, gas and a car payment. You could do would be tight and there wouldn't be a lot of extra money but you could do it. If $12 an hour at 40 hours ISN'T 1 full time and 1 part time and poof! you'd be fine.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:32 PM on Apr. 15, 2012

  • Of course that is our part of NE San Diego, CA you couldn't do it. In West Texas where my sisters live, you could make it on $12 an hour/40 hours a week with extra money.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:33 PM on Apr. 15, 2012

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