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I am 45. My ex left me for another woman over a year and half ago. She is tall, thin, athletic, looks like a model, has a great job, her own house with a built in pool, two nice vehicles. I am not model material but don't think i'm ugly either. I didn't gain weight or let myself go. But now i can't get over the fact i am such a loser. Noone has even hit on me or tried to ask me out , which adds more fuel to how i am feeling. I am very friendly. Why do some woman get blessed with being perfect?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:02 AM on Jan. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • Well she isnt perfect if shes breaking up marriages, shes a homewrecker. That means she has low self esteem because she didnt tell your ex to get lost and find herself a man who wasnt married. I went through some of what you are and it isnt anything reflecting on you. He and she are the scum not you. More then likely the only reason men havent hit on you is because you arent ready and dont have that air of being single around you AND because you think down on yourself maybe you arent paying attention to the ones who are.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 9:04 AM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • Trust me, no one is perfect.Stop putting yourself down.Have you went out? I'm pretty sure if you did,at least one guy would try to talk to you(show interest in you).
    nikkiJ86

    Answer by nikkiJ86 at 9:06 AM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • I agree, there is nothing wrong with you. If you are feeling sad and inferior, this will show in the way you behave and the way you look. You are better than the home-wrecker and the guy that broke up his marriage/relationship for her. And if he messed around on you, she can't have much confidence that he won't do the same thing to her. Be proud, you know you are a good-looking and worthwhile person. If you haven't met someone, and it may just be as I sad that you, unknown to you, give off vibes of sadness and worry, then get into volunteer work or take classes or teach classes.  Stand tall, believe that you are great. 

    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:13 AM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • You may not THINK you're "model material" but you HAVE to act like you are! Confidence is inspiring, and SEXY! If you carry yourself in the same manner as those who you think are "perfect" you WILL attract the kind of man you ARE worthy of!

    Join a gym, take classes that interest you at your local community college, join a club that interests you, have a beauty makeover, pamper yourself a little--you'll be amazed at what that does to your self confidence. And in dong for yourself, you'll find that you will attract someone who is ALSO interested in the same things you are--which is a very good thing!
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 9:16 AM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • There is nothing wrong with you other than losing your self esteem. That other woman has material items. The fact that shes thin and etc doesnt mean anything. Dont let another woman steal your joy. This only means a new and sexier you for the new year. He might not have been the blessing you were suppose to have from the beginning. Take this time to work and build YOU.
    VaDivaMom

    Answer by VaDivaMom at 9:18 AM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • The woman isn't perfect. You are telling yourself a lie. Start telling yourself that she may look good and have material things but she helped a man leave his wife and break up his family. Your ex also believes those lies. You are understandably depressed and it's a normal process when you have lost your husband. Some say it's harder when the husband leaves instead of dying. It isn't the end of him and you have to find a whole new normal with him stlil in the world. Find a counselor or a group for those recovering from divorce. You need encouragment and truth about what happened. It will set you free to rediscover your good qualities and help you get over the burn.
    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 9:30 AM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • P.S. Most people aren't attracted to someone down on themselves. You wouldn't want to find someone who likes to be with a down person anyway. Get in touch with who you are, get happy with yourself and your new life. THAT will attract a healthy man to a healthy relationship. It's too early to be looking for that. You need to pay attention to yourself and what is happening. Don't let yourself get into another relationship until you work through that.
    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 9:32 AM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • Don't feel that way. Honestly, this is the best I have ever looked in my life. I am also the most miserable. People have no idea. Don't go by looks or possessions. Be proud and you are gorgeous. Just move on........
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:49 AM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • i agree with gemgem...shes a homewrecker. i know just how you are feeling...my DH has done me the same way. I kicked him out a year ago jan 1 when i caught him. filed for divorce in April. Hes living with his SO, but wont sign the divorce papers. Its been a hard blow for me as well, im truning 50 in Aug. Im still atractive, fit, smart, Have my own home & own a good business. We had a wonderful sex life...i thought...so i just dont know. I dont feel attractive, because no one notices. If they do..i dont see it. Im not feeling sorry for myself, i dont think...but i am still hurting from his lies & cheating...in my face! continued....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:22 AM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • continued...so i went to the gym with my oldest daughter just to get out of the house & a very good looking gym at the gym ask me out!!! OMG! really! i was dumb struck, i did not see it coming. I was sitting in the floor cleaning out my purse. i am totally serious, my nose was in my purse, i hadnt even looked around the gym at all...i was trying to find a small world inside my purse, cuz i felt so out of place & didnt belong. he walked right up to me, sit down in the floor & started to talk to me. after a few minutes he ask if he could call me sometime 7 we could go catch a movie or something...the something worried me...but i said WTF! i gave him my number & he called an hour later...to talk! he has asked me out but i havent....yet! but i think i will..right? Get out of the house...tan, get your nails done, but new clothes, new style of make-up (i got contacts too!) go to the gym!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:28 AM on Jan. 25, 2009

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