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I believe my husband is cheating on me?

We have been together 3 years, married 1. We have a 14 month DD, and Im expecting our second, We havent had sex in a few months. He is always on his cell phone, texting, or talking. he hides his cell phone from me at night, so i cant go through it, and he deletes all his text messages and emails right away. He really goes through the hassle at night to hide his cell phone from me. I never ask to see it bc he always says no, he will yell at me if i try to see it. I dont know whats going on, it def. seems to me that he is hiding something on it bc he goes through so much trouble to keep it from me. What should i do? I have a gut feeling hes talking to another women obviously.

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ReagansMommy19

Asked by ReagansMommy19 at 9:05 AM on Jan. 25, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (22)
  • there's not much to say when things like this are going on... first don't jump the gun... definately get some proof before confronting him... question who name is the bill under and see if you can get a copy of the bill either to ur email or home and call the numbers...also if u both have sprint they have a gps tracker for ur kids. we have it and I use it for my husband when he goes out.. I'll track him through the night then ask him where he was thank god he always tells me the truth but its a good feature and he doesn't know I track him...
    BxMetroMom718

    Answer by BxMetroMom718 at 9:10 AM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • I learned to not jump to conclusions and dont assume until there is proof. Ive date guys that have done the same things with their phone and they were talking to other women. Obviously he is trying to hide something but maybe he is just chatting, the problem is they have his number which is a problem. Have you ever thought about going to his job and seeing if anything is uncomfortable or watching him from close by his job to see if he leaves at anytime during the day and etc. Most men meet women on their job or close to their job. Sorry youre going through this.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:12 AM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • If he were just chatting, I don't think there would be this secretive behavior. It is either something he is embarrassed about or being underhanded about. Remember the song "These boots are made for walking? ... and someone else is getting all your best." If you haven't been intimate in a good while the writing is on the wall. If he were having health problems he would have told you. Just in case. ask if he is having health problems or suggest that he see a doctor to rule out health issues with the lack of intimacy, but the cell phone behavior points to behavior not health. Ask him to go to marriage counseling with you. Meanwhile, start protecting yourself - make sure you have a bank account in your own name with money in it. Make plans for your future that may not include him. If you never need to implement the plans, then wonderful! But you'll have your plan in place.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:19 AM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • For me thats proof enough. I would find the damn cell phone myself when he was sleeping just to have the concrete proof though. Do you know his billing info? I wouldn't stand for it and you shouldn't either. If its nothing you still both have some trust issues. If it is something you've got something BIG to work out.
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 9:23 AM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • do a flip switch on him...mimick his behavior. dont be obvious that your doin it but enough that he catches on that "YOUR" up to something...be texting your mom or sister or best friend, be planning a surprise b'day party...something harmless & non distructive, but obvious to him that your sneaking around. leave suddenly after a call or text. make him wonder. then when he confronts you, be ever s sweet in your explanation then demand that "HE" explains himself, with the proof. do guys have problems like we do about cheating gilfriends/wifes? or do they just dont care? im sorry your going thru this..i hate to say it but most of us are right there with you...do you know they have a reality T.v. show out about cheating guys? WTF!!! but it doesnt solve anything just shows that there are a lot of jerks that have NO manners!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:53 AM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • You could always ask for a detailed bill from your cell company. I have Verizon, and it will list every phone call in and out for each phone on your plan. Not sure about texts though. I think every cell company will do a detailed calling list if you ask for it. Then you can go through and check every number he is calling. Watch what times he usually does his suspicious calling, and then compare that to the list. Good luck, hon. I hope it turns out to be nothing.
    srhmldndo

    Answer by srhmldndo at 10:06 AM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • I would just outright ask him if he's cheating. if he is, he may just admit to it. My friend's husband did that. He had been acting funny for a few months and they were expecting their third child and their sex life just dropped off out of nowhere. She finally just asked him when he came home from work 'are you cheating on me?' and he said 'yes.'
    moonbutterfly

    Answer by moonbutterfly at 10:28 AM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • BxMetroMom718--
    You GPS track your husband? That's NOT normal.
    AriMicSun

    Answer by AriMicSun at 10:32 AM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • yea I had this lil prob b4 so I do it sometimes not all the time. he was seeing some one but thats over and past but you can't help urself sometimes. I still have trust issues but working on it and so is he to make me feel like I can trust him more.
    BxMetroMom718

    Answer by BxMetroMom718 at 10:48 AM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • I'm with moonbutterfly..................just ask him! If he says yes, then you know. If he denies it, then ask him why he is so secretive about his cell phone and why he no longer wants to have sex with you.

    But the suggestions from Bmat about having some money in your own bank account are a really good idea. Don't confront him and then not be prepared to deal with it.
    Dyndudes

    Answer by Dyndudes at 11:04 AM on Jan. 25, 2009

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