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In need of a name

Has anyone seen The Day The Earth Stood Still? You know how the step son treats his step mother. That is kind of how my life is and so I am looking for a name my step son can call me that isn't Mom or my first name. I'm just sick of the disrespect he spins my way when he says my name. Are there any suggestions?

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SeedsOfLove

Asked by SeedsOfLove at 10:22 AM on Jan. 25, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (11)
  • Maybe ask him what he would like to call you.... and agree on something together.
    Although I don't think a name change will help if he is being disrespetful.
    AmiJanell

    Answer by AmiJanell at 10:48 AM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • I'd be more concerned over the ATTITUDE your step son displays rather than how he ADDRESSES you! I think you're getting more upset over the "semantics" than the issues!

    If you address the issues say, via family counseling, then he will LEARN to respect you appropriately! Of course, respect goes BOTH ways. If he feels you do not respect him, he will react to that feelign of disrespect accordingly.

    Children are pretty simple and transparent. If they feel hurt, ignored, unloved--no matter how valid those feelings may be, they will act accordingly. You may be trying too hard to "replace" his mother--maybe that's why he shows you disrespect? He may be wanting to connect with you, but doesn't know how?
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 10:56 AM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • well don't force him to call you mom. Cause no matter what your not mom. Does having him call you by your first name bother you or just the way he says it? Have you approached him in a friendly way and say please call me soso. AmiJanell has a wonderful idea and ask him what he's feel comfortable calling you. However if he's still hostel toward you you may want to hold off asking him the question.
    pagirl71

    Answer by pagirl71 at 2:07 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • Step is what my step daughter calls me,Its fine... Hey step
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:08 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • Repair your relationship first, then ask him what he'd like to call you. I wouldn't encourage him to call you mom as he probably already has one. I also would support you in not wanting to be called by your first name as you are an adult and I know I wasn't allowed to address an adult by their first name until I was much older and invited to do so by the adult. Giving him a special name to call you isn't going to make it sound any more respectful. If he doesn't respect you, he could call you "your majesty" and I'm sure it would sound as nasty as if he had cursed at you.
    NovemberLove

    Answer by NovemberLove at 7:39 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • My step son calls me by my first name and I have never felt disrespected or weird about it. I don't think it matters WHAT he calls you, it's HOW he says it. I think if you find a nick name he will probably use the same tone and attitude he does now. Better to fix why he is acting like this than to try and camouflage the issue at hand.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:43 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • my kids call their stepmom "mother" and i am mom or mommy...its ok with me...it shows that they respect her btut she cant take my place
    feelingthekicks

    Answer by feelingthekicks at 8:02 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • LoriKeet,

    I am in no way trying to replace my step son's mother. She is very much in his life. My step son is upset that his father married me instead of his mother. He doesn't understand the dynamics of his mother and his father's relationship and he is still hoping they can work it out some way.

    I show my step son respect because I wantt he same thing in return. More importantly, treating someone in a rude manner is not how anyone deserves to be treated.

    SeedsOfLove

    Answer by SeedsOfLove at 3:31 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • LoriKeet,

    My step son hates me just because I am his step mother. he loves my siblings and the rest of my family. He has no problems with them because they don't deal with him on a regular basis where rules are enforced. They only yell at him when he gets out of line when they are with them. Besides, extended family is always cooler than your parents, right?

    My step son's mother has laid down her law pretty thick of how she wants him to hate me. How do I move pass this and connect with him?
    SeedsOfLove

    Answer by SeedsOfLove at 3:31 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • pagirl71

    I'm not trying to force my step son to call me Mom. That is why I am asking for other suggestions. Althoughhe used to call me Mom and his mother hated it so she told him to stop.

    It's really just the way he says my name that bothers me. It's like my name a curse or something.
    SeedsOfLove

    Answer by SeedsOfLove at 3:33 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

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